Funny Detectives
by ComedySuze
Summary: A funny, angst and heart warming Ashes to Ashes fanfic about DI Alex Drake who discover that she needs the team more than she could ever know, Chapter 8 Gene wonder what Alex could next to completely dazzle him and Ray has a date.
1. Chapter 1

**Funny Detectives**

**A funny, angst and heart warming Ashes to Ashes fanfic about Alex discovering that she needs the team more than she could ever know, Gene struggling to cope and he sees his DI dating a fellow officer, wishing it was him**

* * *

After a hard day of busy work for most of that Friday in mid June, The team had organised to go out on the town to see a comedy stand up show later that evening, wanting and hoping to forget all about their daily stress, troubles and arguments they currently shared with each other, Chris and Ray looked both excited and full of joy as they would be seeing one of Manchester's finest comedians Eddie King, a well known actor who also did stand up in his spare time, his main fans were blokes, he's normally anger the female audience with ruder jokes, Gene meanwhile hated any comedians making skits of people's accents. Alex laughed at his discomfort as he listened to Chris and Ray trying to be like Morecambe and Wise doing good attempts at impersonating.

Ray donned the Eric Morecambe famous glasses as they started singing along. As the famous song on the stereo played out loudly echoing around the office.

"Bring Me Sunshine, in your smile

Bring me laughter all the while"

"Oh Ray i wanted to be Eric Morecambe with the glasses"

"Chris yer look like right div with glasses no offence mate"

Judging by the current mood on Gene's face he didn't look like he wanted to be cheered up as he sat back in the chair looking deepily troubled, something was weighing heavily on his mind. Walking back into his office, he opened the cabinet drawer, finding the last of the bottle of scotch which he poured into a glass. Alex followed on behind, knocking on the door.

"You know Gene sometimes once in a while everyone always needs a good laugh at different things to cheer themselves up"

"Well I don't" taking a gulp as he swallowed it down his throat. His eyes darted up and down at Alex's dress.

"Gene come with us all tonight please..."

"Yeah alright then but i know i won't feel any better soon after "

She looked back out through the office glass window to see Chris and Ray doing the famous Morecambe and Wise skip. It made her chuckle happily , "well at least they look really happy Gene"

* * *

A few hours later as the team were finishing off the last of their drinks and food, Gene sat alone at the bar, staring at his glass eyes looking focused and blanking out any voices he heard coming from across the restaurant room, the light above reflected on his sad face which Luigi noted as he kept an eye on his favourite customer for the last 40 minutes.

"Signor Hunt why do look so sad tonight?" Luigi didn't like to see his favourite customer looking too sad.

"Dunno Luigi... just not into all this stand up molarchy"

"You look like you need cheering up though the sadness in your eyes tells a different story perhaps, is it a certain lady that you are quite tken by" Luigi attempted to hint, give the DCI a little push in Alex's direction.

"Maybe Luigi.. maybe i do need good smile but my eyes and thoughts tell me i'm feeling more lonely than ever"

"Has Alex been in yet, thought she'd be 'ere' by now" he also asked looking round to try and spot her but she still hadn't arrived just yet.

"No but she mentioned this morning and that she wants to look ravishing tonight"

"Like a tart"

"Don't say like that Mr Hunt"

The doors of the restaurant opened widely as everyone looked up to see beautfiul woman's figure approaching in Gene's direction at the bar even Luigi looked surprised. Gene swung round on his chair to see it was Alex looking a thousand times much better than she usually would be, his jaw nearly hitting the floor in amazement at her beauty, she was wearing a dress that was long and flowing, bright milky blue colour ,it also nearly caused him to fall of the chair as his knees felt extremely weak. The lyrics in the song that was being played on the jukebox reflected in Gene's feelings at that very moment.

"When your world is full of strange arrangements  
And gravity won't pull you through  
You know you're missing out on something  
Well that something depends on you

All I'm saying  
It takes a lot to love you  
All I'm doing  
You know it's true  
All I mean now  
There's one thing, yes one thing, that turns this gray sky to blue

That's the look, that's the look  
The look of love  
That's the look, that's the look  
The look of love  
That's the look, that's the look  
The look of love"

She sat next to him at the bar seeing the twitch in his leg, his mouth still wide open in surprise. She smiled seeing the instant effect she left on him.

"Earth to Gene hello" she snapped her fingers near to his glowing smouldering brown eyes.

"Sorry about that Bols.. you trying to cheer me up by dressing up sexy"

" Could be..we might as well stick together tonight incase i might want to leave early"

As he was collecting the last of the glasses from the tables , Luigi turned around to see that Alex had joined Gene at the bar and that he seemed to be more peakier and talkative. Sometimes Luigi just wished that one day he could be able to bang both of their heads together to point out that he was right all along about Gene's romantic feelings for his DI.

The team made their way towards the exit, as they were leaving Shaz and Chris acknowledged Alex's long flowing dark blue silky dress, together with handbag and coat.

"Ma'am you look amazing in that dress" Shaz said. Chris nodded to agree, Ray was last behind them, hands in jacket pocket standing there with a cigarette on the corner of his lips not saying a word.

Alex jumped slightly after not noticing him there, "Ray you nearly made me jump there"

"Raymondo get a move on will yer.. got a comedy gig to see here", he quickly ushered his DS out through the entrance.

"Well i am going in the Quattro want a lift into Central London Bols?"

"I was actually thinking of getting the bus"

"The bus!!... you'll end up making every man in London shake in their boots with that drop gorgeous dress no you're going in the Quattro i shall hear no protests" tugging on her hand, the heel in her shoe snapped causing her to collapse into Gene's arms.

"Woah careful you'll have me feeling horny later with those legs of yours" he teased

He helped into the Quattro, she sat in the back of the car for a change, trying to adjust the bottom of the dress to cover her long legs. As Gene climbed in he couldn't resist in coping an eyeful glancing up at the mirror in the driver's seat, she was flashing a glimpse of her knickers. The voice in head told him not to be distracted, "well are we going or not then" she moaned realising that they might lose their seats in the concert hall.

"Alright..alright Miss Mouthy posh knickers" he laughed rolling his eyes in amusement as he started the car engine up and then turned the steering wheel oif the car, as the Quattro drove off into the dark night.

* * *

The team had already arrived at the small North Hamilton concert hall and had been standing around in the kiosk area with Viv and his new girlfriend, Ray had clearly dressed up in a smart navy blue suit, white blouse and green tie, mumbling to himself, hoping to pick up a few comedy quotes to impress the ladies with.

"Guv and Drake should be here by now" Chris noted as he'd been looking at his watch.

"Eh you don't think they've gone and ditched us have you?" Ray had that feeling that they might have done.

"Don't be so daft Ray" Shaz hated him making a joke out of almost everything.

"Probably late you know the traffic is busy at night in Central London"

"I'll get some drinks while we're wait for them to show up" counting his money as he made his way to replenishment area.

"You know she's probably given him the time of his life in the Quattro"

"Oh Shut up Ray"

One of his favourite comedians Eddie King from Manchester walked past with a bottle of mineral water.

"Top guy he is, only tells jokes about past girlfriends he had" Ray knew everything about his favourite comedian, he was a bigger fan of comedy than Chris was.

"whatever" Shaz replied.

* * *

"stupid soddin traffic" Gene moaned eyes looking straight ahead to see the row of traffic along the main central roads of London, they were only a few minutes later, still hoping that Ray would keep their seats warm at the gig.

He sat back slumped in his seat, tapping lightly on the steering wheel, shaking his head seemingly disagreeing about a subject he was hiding from Alex.

"Seriously what's wrong Gene please open up and let me in"

"Joking aren't ya.. we're rushing to a comedy gig and now this has become more a phone in radio show"

"Well I'm hardly no DJ i am, for starters your body posture is displaying hidden feelings about something or someone, i can always tell when the person's shoulders are low" she pointed out.

"Thanks you're cheering me up big time Bols"

Traffic started moving again, how Alex wished she had a mobile phone or Iphone to contact the others with but as it was 1983 they wouldn't be invented for at least anither 20+ years or so.

**Sorry about the quick ending hoping to turn this fanfic into a three or four chapters worth. Any reviews/feedback is welcome , as it would help me to improve more on this fanfic**


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

**When a near Galex romantic kiss is interrupted (I know I'm cruel on Galex), Alex is then swept off her feet by a young handsome French Millionaire called Claude Grenier, how will Gene react to Alex's new love interest and what is Ray brilliant plan to surprise with his comic material? Angst and Comedy... throughout chapter... Beta read by scribblechacha a big thank you heading your way**

The tension and atmosphere could even be felt from about a mile away from the rest of the team's location at the North Hamilton concert hall. Gene couldn't tell what it really was at that precise moment, he should simply be thanking his lucky stars that a beautiful woman was sitting next to him in the Audi Quattro; watching, observing his dark, glowing eyes as his lips pouted slightly sideways, not letting any further anger affect his behaviour as it was a night off. They should be out enjoying themselves, having a good laugh.

Continuing to ignore what stared right at him in the face, an open opportunity at play. Since becoming a single available man, on occasions he'd have the one or two one-night stands, nothing developing afterwards with any woman, he'd continue to look for the right qualities in a beautiful lady. His type would be a person who could answer back, a challenge and perhaps she could have the patience of a saint to cope with his mood swings. Snapping him out his current fantasy Alex placed a hand, around his thigh, leaning to whisper what she currently kept in her thoughts. Blowing a breeze throughout his earlobe, he closed his eyes so tightly that it nearly caused Gene to lose concentration on the darkly road lying ahead.

"Why don't we just leave driving to the comedy stand up night and perhaps head back to my flat for a few drinks? I may even cook some food for you." She was so incredibly close only a few inches away, breathing softly against his skin and ear, her voice sounded sexy and so soft, enough to make his mind explode inside with lustful images.

He couldn't resist the tempting offer, deep inside his mind screamed out to give a yes answer; but Gene being Gene knew he just couldn't, at least not for tonight, the team were his priority, after promising to come along and hoping that something one of the stand up comedians would say might bring a smile to his usual miserable face.

"Erm…. I dunno." The only answer he could mutter, fearing of saying something stupid like he always does; eyes turning sideways to see her looking away sad and into deep space.

"It's a nice offer Bols." He tried to say something completely unexpected hoping not to hurt Alex's feelings towards him, which he acknowledged immediately. Things had been incredibly close between the two colleagues since day one in July 1981. "But I can't... I mean not tonight.. don't take this as a turn down from me.. I care too bloody much about ya way too often."

"Gene I accept your turn down gracefully... tomorrow night it is my place.. 8pm bring a bottle of house rubbish." Thankfully, she understood, seeing that he meant every word from his lips.

Breathing a short sigh of relief, resting more easily against the cushy headrest in the Quattro, they arrived half an hour late. Surely the team would have realised about the busy traffic around the area, the road works delaying and preventing any cars from driving near the theatre, the Quattro was forced to park outside the large business industrial building, a tall skyscraper that overlooked the City of London even from the skyline.

Gene was clearly unhappy with leaving the car is an untrustworthy area, maybe his panic attacks were starting to get the better of his conscious. After parking the car, they made their way across the busy main street, lorries still being allowed past not small cars, another mistake by the local council.

"For Goodness Sake... Get away from the busy vehicles yer Daft Knickers!" She nearly got herself run over, too busy focusing on the fact that her long flowing dress that was horribly ripped at the side, unaware of the coach heading directly for her, Gene having to dash over and march her out her away onto the pavement.

"Could have got yourself killed there... too busy admiring that stunning dress of yours again."

"Hmm maybe... got a lot more hidden away."

"Gene Genie doesn't like any teasing, always prefers the odd peak or two now and again."

"Are you implying about being a very naughty man... especially while around gorgeous women?" The wind howled, blowing against the theatre doors as they headed through the entrance doorway, asking where the Eddie King gig was being held, upstairs as just by the kiosk area.

Sitting next to Ray was the worse decision for Chris as the Detective Sergeant had one of the loudest and strangest laughs he had ever heard. How could they both not, as they'd been fans of Eddie's for a few years now, although the main man himself wasn't as popular with other groups of the audience.

The sound of the backdoors were being opened letting two late audience members, the team looked around to see that it was Drake and The Guv looking red faced as all eyes continued observing them.

"You two took ya time didn't ya? Don't tell me was it traffic or did you...."

Gene cut him off before his DS could say anything further; he wasn't a fan of Ray's potty mouth, the opinions of which he voiced.

"You can cut that language out for starters Raymondo... don't forget Eddie there; he's the only one who can slag off other people." How did he ever manage to put up with both Chris and Ray over these last few years? Chris had learned from the best, Sam Tyler; and now looked to have become quite a different man as he was in a serious relationship with WPC Sharon Granger, she made him understand that all women should be treated the same as men, equally. Ray in the meantime was the same man as he was in back in the good old days, but over the past few months he had treated the responsibilities of work seriously, not going against Gene said nor taking situations into his own hands.

Alex was too different for DCI Hunt's liking, earning the nickname of Miss Fruitcake with her wild theories and Psycho- whatever it was called. Always dressing up pretty much like a posh tart, apparently saying that it was her style in which she loved. Sitting down to watch Eddie upon the small stage, his palms were sweaty as he clutched the microphone in his hands, chatting to the audience.

Noticing the Fenchurch East team, Chris squealed with excitement as Eddie asked him to come upon stage to help during a sketch scene.

"Anything for the great Eddie King." His eyes were shaped like star symbols making his way towards the stage, up the short steps and facing his comedy hero, he looked like a young boy who had all the best sweets in the world everything that had been wished for.

"Bloody typical... he's the one that buys the tickets, I agree to come along and guess what, he gets to go on stage." Ray couldn't hide his jealously, struggling to keep it under control, arms folded like a naughty schoolboy.

"Raymondo wish you'd just relax.... always seem to moan about everything don't ya?" Gene was right, not appreciating his DS's bad behaviour approach to seeing dreams being made to come true.

"What's ya name son?"

"Called Div Skelton!" Ray shouted trying to amuse himself

"Don't listen to him."

"It's Chris Skelton."

"By that accent I'm guessing that you're from Manchester, my home town... Am I right?"

"Yeah."

"Well I want you to hold this for me... while I... one golf ball... and a second one... Jesus lad you must have loads them hidden away." Taking everyone by surprise with the mixture of magic and comedy rolled into the sketch.

"How did he do that?"

Eddie kept unveiling different colour golf balls, "Yer know once when I was on a golf course, I kept hitting the balls, and not long after they flung back at me, hitting me legs, thought the posts were taking some revenge on me... once long before I realised that I'd been holding my putter the wrong way."

Everyone in the audience laughed apart from Gene and Alex who didn't find the joke funny at all Frowning, confused at the reaction of the fellow members of the team from Fenchurch; maybe it had been a huge mistake in coming this night. It didn't look like it would get better as the comedian joke's continued to run dry, too dry in fact. Gent felt ashamed for turning down the offer; they both looked around for the nearest exit doors in order to sneak out unnoticed.

"Come on we're going now.... Can't take no more of that rubbish comedian... He's not that funny." He whispered softly in her earlobe, she thought it felt naughty leaving the team behind, grabbing her hand, squeezing hard on it causing Alex to yelp in pain.

"Erm I'm just going the toilet won't be long... Gene said he's going for drinks and sweets does anyone want any?"

"No thanks but it's kind of you to offer Guv."

Ray suspected they were up to something secretive, eyes fixed on the two colleagues as they exited the room.

"Them two are sneaking out aren't they... I blame Drake... probably told him to drive her home... I hate the change in the Guv, not himself anymore." Shaking his head clearly looking unhappy, Ray had always dreamt of becoming a stand up comedian someday, entertaining a crowd of fans around the UK in the biggest arenas. From tomorrow, he planned on asking Luigi whether he could hold a Comedy evening in the restaurant surely the Italian would accept.

"Thank the lord we're out of there I couldn't take two more minutes watching that rubbish guy... dunno why Chris and Ray find him funny in the first place... guess it might be me just acting my age."

"Don't say that Gene. We've made each other laugh after listening to Luigi's life story travelling with the circus in France... you're charismatic and you do have a great sense of humour within you...don't deny because I've seen it."

"Ya joking aren't ya?" He chuckled softly, the only thing he would find funny on a daily basis would be Chris slipping up at work; everyone making a big deal of the young detective, taking a tumble over a few bags left on the floor and landing face first into a freshly made birthday cake Alex made for Gene, not sure for what age the DCI was. They should have learnt about health and safety much sooner and earlier.

As they stood by the kiosk counter, Gene knew he'd been acting like a complete fool. Oh why couldn't he just tell her now they were on their own, his hands shook with anticipation, heart pounded heavily against his chest, it was definitely love alright, he felt it at its most loving in his beating heart. Things between the pair had become more intimate and closer than ever before, everything they experienced together bought Gene closer to Alex. Having the most boring of evenings at the theatre, he needed the good cheering up he so desired for so long. Neither wanted to make the first move, studying what she would do next, his hands stroked her cheeks so caressingly and soft it felt like touching silky material. He needed the hint urgently as she closed in, that was it as they moved further to each other's lips, anticipating, eager to discover what their kiss would be like. They were interrupted by an annoying geeky worker who asked them to take their romantic moment outside, Gene rolling his eyes in up in frustration wanting to punch that worker, after feeling his desire burning through his eyes it had been ruined in definite.

Now heading back outside to collect the Audi Quattro; Alex was then half run over in the middle of the road, not looking where she'd been going as she wandered around dizzily, suffering a funny turn. A tall French handsome man then approached checking to see if she had any sign of injuries, clearly feeling guilty of focusing on the road as he had been fiddling with paperwork on the seat. Gene could only watch on witnessing this man swooping in as the DI limped over to the bench, sitting down with her, checking her pulse, was he some kind of doctor.

"Are you okay I'm sorry I didn't see you in the road it all happened too quickly."

"Sorry it was my fault really."

"My name's Claude by the way."

"Alex.. Alex Drake nice to meet you." Reaching a hand in which Claude pressed a light kiss to.

Gene wanted to say something but words failed in completely and miserably, standing there frozen, instead he went to go and drive the Quattro back from the Business buildings, he instantly couldn't stand a handsome man getting in the way, leaving Alex with him might be the wrong thing to do. Driving back round to the entrance of the concert hall, his heart sank horribly watching on from a distance as the millionaire Frenchman offered Alex a lift home, which she accepted, sounding more cheerful and gigglier as she climbed in the passenger seat of the flashy sports car. "How dare he try and sweep Bolly off her feet? I'm not given up on wooing her even if I have to go through that French soddin' git."

**The Next Chapter is more about how the team depend on Alex and Gene warns Claude to stay away from Alex but what will the DI make of it when she finds out, accuse him of being jealous?**


	3. Chapter 3

**Funny Detectives**

**Chapter 3**

**I've made a few late changes to this chapter, this is more about Luigi trying to encourage Gene to show his romantic feelings for Alex, he starts to take them on board. Thanks to scribblechacha for beta reading this chapter much appreciated**

The very next morning, after having been swept off her feet by the wonderfully charming Claude the night before, Alex entered work with the brightest of smiles. She did feel awful and terrible for leaving Gene without saying a word but this French very rich millionaire had everything she liked in a man, the cash, the expensive car, Armani suit. Claude had the looks of a ladies' man but as he dropped her off outside the flats by Luigi's, she had discovered a whole new side to him when choosing to invite him up for drinks which had then resulted in a steamy shared kiss between the two. This is looked to be happening at a faster rate as she'd only just met the man 30 minutes ago, things with Gene were going nowhere and she started to rule out any possible chances of a romance with him.

"Morning ma'am, how are you feeling today?" Shaz greeted her as she carried two cups of coffee for Ray and Chris into the main office.

"Thanks for asking I'm feeling pretty good actually."

"Me, Chris and Ray noticed you and the Guv left early from the comedy show. Ray said the Guv might have probably wanted to snog you."

"Well he insisted on leaving early... said he was bored of the comedian... who I actually thought was quite funny, by the way me and Gene, we didn't kiss but I met someone last night that is very attractive."

"He seems to have put a massive smile on your face." They both giggled, as other detectives passed by the help desk, Alex wanted to explain to Gene, apologise even for last night, she looked around the small confined front entrance, there was no current sign of him, probably would turn up to work in a right mood as he usually would. A sweat of nerves engulfed her inside, fingers tapping along the wooden surfaced desk attracting Viv's attention.

"You alright ma'am... from what I heard it seems the Guv sounds very upset with you."

"Wha..." She tried to avoid any explaining by brushing her hair away from her eye, both Shaz and Viv could tell she did want to say anything further, seeing the embarrassment very clearly in the DI's facial expression as she watched on for who came through the double doors next, the next person being Ray who wanted details as to where the DCI and DI disappeared off to.

"What happened to you two last night? I kept looking back to see whether you were making yer way back down the narrow aisles by the seats... don't tell me, the Guv whisked yer off as fast as possible did he?"

Alex shook her head, everyone, all the team knew of their close working relationship, sharing secret bets between themselves on when the big day would be when Gene would grab Alex and kiss her passionately.

"He's avoiding me isn't he? I knew it... probably drunk himself into blind state." She thought to herself as it looked like he would be coming into work today, this showed signs of possible awkwardness between the two colleagues. She looked disappointed, while attempting to ignore Ray's nosy continuing questions, breath stinking of cigarettes and alcohol.

"Oh Ray your breath stinks... get some gum off Chris to take that awful smell away!" Shaz waved her hand, head turned away to the left.

"Flipping women complaining about my stinking breath... won't be long before yer start complaining about my aftershave next." He shook his head, taking out a Wrigley's chewy from its packet.

Gene was sat on a stool in Luigi's, sipping a glass of red French wine, thoughts circulating every emotion that grew deep within his heart and soul, he could feel the jealously wanting to boil from beneath the surface, it seemed to trouble him in more ways than he thought it shouldn't. Alex was a free, young, single woman who should be allowed to date anyone that she takes an interest in. He sighed sadly, eyes fixated on the aroma of the fresh sparkling wine that lashed from side to side in the wine glass.

He didn't know why he loved wine more than booze, things were moving too fast around him over the past few years, London had offered everything he had always hoped for, a fresh start, a better living accommodation in Fenchurch and a hint of promotion depending on whether he could keep his temper, bad behaviour under safe control.

"Signor Hunt, why do you look so sad?" Luigi appeared by the counter still dressed in his pyjamas, wondering why his favourite customer was eight hours too early.

"Dunno Luigi... I've come to realise that life can spring plenty of surprises on you in many ways."

"I take it that you mean the beautiful Signorina Drake...she's the centre of these thoughts that you are having"

"Yeah whatever." He dismissed Luigi's reply with a lip pout, while taking a final sip of the wine, searching his pockets for money to pay the petit restaurant owner for nicking his finest French house rubbish.

"It's on the house Mister Hunt... by the way I've always known because I can see it in your eyes... the loneliness you feel when she's not here and all alone in her flat... In fact I saw it in your eyes last night when she entered the room your dark eyes lit up with so much fire and desire burning in their depths." Luigi attempted to bring out a determination, a fight in the grumpy DCI's face but he didn't seem to take the advice on board.

"Blimey Luigi are you goin' all romantic on me? Because I don't want any advice from you, I don't need it... she's not interested in me she's more taken by another man that she met last night outside the comedy gig."

Luigi stepped behind the counter, offering to pour out another glass of wine for Gene, which he accepted; he wasn't in a mood to show his face at work just yet, choosing to sneak in later on that morning instead. Gulping it down in one swallow, silence falling between the two, as he glanced over to the door that led up to the flats.

"You should fight for her, I watched on for so long. I've actually felt the need to bang both of your heads together to show that you both belong together." Gene acknowledged that comment, taking it to mean a lot as he pondered those missed opportunities of telling her how much she meant to him, how much he wanted to hold her in his warm arms, to kiss her tenderly on the lips, he shivered at the prospect when the chance would come, he knew she probably felt the same way about him. He blamed the doubts that filled his mind, which said that she only sees you as friend nothing else.

"Me 'ead is thumping badly now... I dunno whether I can face her or not... even though she was the one who ran off and left me."

At lunchtime as she headed back over the road from the newsagents, Alex heard the sound of a beeping car, it was Claude clutching a bouquet of flowers, climbing out of the driver's seat and walking over to her.

"You look as beautiful as ever Madame Alex... on this wonderful afternoon." He handed her the flowers, smiling happily even though they had only known each other for 16 hours, he felt he had learnt so much about this gorgeous woman, his long ponytail hair made him look more like a hairdresser than a businessman.

"Aww that's very kind of you to bring me these flowers." They were a mixture of variety flowers, a small rose hidden beneath the wrapped paper.

"Especially for you." He leaned closer whispering in her ear, she shivered warmly, as the sound of his voice vibrated in her ear. Any thought of Gene vanished from her mind altogether.

"I also came to ask you whether to wanted to go for French meal tonight if it's okay with you?"

"This is all moving too fast... why are you asking?"

"Because I like you so much... you have must the beautiful of eyes I've ever laid my eyes on." He certainly knew how to woo her with romantic words; he wanted to treat her to an expensive meal.

"Okay I don't see why not, pick me up around eight." She accepted as he gave her a kiss on the cheek as he left to climb back into his car.

The talk about Alex's date later that evening, was being talked about by every other detective, she knew she shouldn't have told Ray, as the news would then spread to Gene.

"Guv apparently Drake's got a date this evening with some cocky French businessman... you missed out there."

Gene sat in thought, "Am I suppose to care?"

"I'm just saying... probably won't be long before he's proposing marriage to her you know what these French males are like."

"No I don't."

Ray didn't appreciate seeing this side to his friend, full of quietness and sadness clearly visible across his face.

If this French guy, Claude, was about to whisk Alex away from Gene's life forever, the DCI was determined not to let her go even if he had to prove his secret love for her.

Later that evening at around 7:45, Claude was combing his hair in the car window, when hearing a large thump on the bonnet, he looked up and turned round to see Gene standing there watching his love rival, as he climbed out to ask what he wanted.

"Listen you... French, Nancy, Mr Billionaire, Poof stay away from Alex have you got it..." God it made him look like he was trying to protect her from this guy rather than admit his secret feelings, the words were starting to come out wrong.

"No... because I happen to like her and whether you like it or not, I plan on sticking around and wooing her romantically....i think she likes me too"

Gene was about to go for him with a right hook in the gob but was interrupted by Alex, in a sparkling gliterry dress, appearing at the door to the entrance of the flats, Gene didn't want her to see him, so he hid behind the wall, lungs breathing heavily, his heart thumping, blood rushing through his veins, it scared him admitting love for a woman he worked closely with.

Claude glanced back at the Detective, laughing; face of smugness was his true colours emerging.

**Hope this chapter was fine to read. Next one will be full of Galex romance again, I promise a lot of twists with the Claude/Alex date, is he the guy that Alex really knows or is his different side of him one that she wouldn't like too well?**


	4. Chapter 4

**Funny Detectives  
**

**Chapter 4**

**A bit of a break from Galex, the next one will be aboout them, as I've decided to make this latest one more about Ray, from his point of view of how sees things in the office and decides to base a few jokes on his colleagues. Unbeta'd**

The morning after: while Gene watched on through the blinds in his office secretly lusting after Alex, trying to keep the feelings he had, only to himself at least for now, Ray was too busy trying to come up with some great jokes which he wanted to base on his colleagues without them knowing of course , "What should I say about Drake?….Hmm she's got the intelligence of a Footballer's WAG... nah think thats a bit harsh" he couldn't take the piss, too harshly, as he looked at her more as a friend and a respected colleague

He sat on his chair rocking back and forth causing it to creek and disrupt the other members of the team from working, writing ideas, good material down on a lined notepad . Ray always liked to take the mickey out of Chris everytime he was in a pretty good mood after any dates he'd been on the night before. For the past 10 years the two friends had seen some surprising and shocking events back in Manchester, Chris was more like a little brother to Ray who needed the right guidance in making the right work choices and choices in his love life. With a cigarette dangling on the corner of his mouth, an echo, resemblence of a cowboy would smoke in a western movie. Alex observed Ray's frustration as he scrumbled up a few piece of paper which were then thrown in the metal bin , smiling she'd guessed instinctly that he wanted to be an all round entertainer, perhaps his dream really was wanting to entertain large exciting audiences at sold out Comedy gigs.

"Ray... would you like me to help you with your ideas for jokes?" leaning over in her chair, as she then read what he had managed to write down so far, she looked clearly impressed.

"Nah I'm alright actually... I was just thinking about something to say about The Guv, with him it'll have to be rude and naughty guaranteed " He turned to look at Gene's office while they were still talking, immediately spotting a pair of eyes watching over everyone through the blinds but then shutting fastly as they saw Ray's eyes looking in the same direction.

"Blimey what's wrong 'wiv' him... i've noticed he's been in a right mood since the other night.. you haven't said something to upset him 'ave you Drake?" He muttered as he didn't particually like seeing the DCI acting in such a sad and lonely mood.

"No not really... I'm not sure what he's thinking...Honestly I tried asking him about an hour ago.. but he won't let me in" she knew but she didn't feel the need to say too much about the real reason.

"Right back to this" he tapped the pen in a rhythm on the pad, whistling through his lips.

" You know Comedy is the best done as double act like Mitchell and Webb and Armstrong and Miller" they were her favourite comedy acts, that she enjoyed watching their programmes on televison

"Who the bloody 'ell ' are they?" He didn't understand what she was talking about, probably talking rubbish as usual.

"What about working on this with Chris.. I'm sure he'll be happy to help you" she pointed out

"He's too busy planning for the wedding.... I should persuade Luigi to put on a comedy evening for the customers" Luigi would obviously yes, Ray hoped he would, it would also bring in many more customers into the restaurant.

"Do you know what, i think that's actually a pretty good idea Raymondo" she smiled, seeing as he'd still had some good ideas within him. The main office had been too quite for the last hour, no phone calls, no evidence files to sort through seeing as Gene had sorted them all out.

* * *

After a few visits outside of the office, it was nearing the end of a very long day. Alex made herself a cup of coffee and one for Gene, hoping he may still be talking to her after ignoring her for most of the day, she hated the distance that began to form between them, the gap growing every day, she didn't what she was doing wrong, she enjoyed Claude's presence very much, he had bought out a different side in her.

She had another date with him tonight and looked forward to where he offered to take and treat her to.

"This is getting ridiculous them two not speaking to each other... I think The Guv's acting like a soft love sick puppy" Chris whispered to Ray, as they drank their cups of coffee.

"Hmm suppose yer right Chris... got to do something about it... actually I might write it that in my notes" taking the pen from behind his ear and jotting down on the lined paper a good idea.

They both watched Alex taking a cup to Gene's office, knocking on the door, which the DCI opened, the room was in complete darkness.

"Thanks Bols" his only reply was before closing the door in her face, saddening her in the depths of her eyes, she didn't want them falling out over something so silly and stupid, it started to make her question whether Gene was jealous of Claude and might he be wishing it had been him taking her on the date the night before.

Heading back to her desk, she got started on the last piece of files that were piled on the desk, keeping her head down, hoping no one noticed.

"Yes bloody solved it" Chris jumped up from his chair, having finished the rubix cube that he'd playing with for so many months.

"Alright keep yer hair on" Ray muttered, shaking his head, eyes focused on completing his comedy dialogue. Sleep started affecting both of his eyes, which didn't feel too good, also lettting out a loud yawn from his mouth.

"What are your plans for tonight Ray?" The young DC asked

"I'm working on this... it's keeping me busy which is a good thing" he replied.

"Shaz wants to me watch Brookside at her house again... says its a really great show to watch"

"I'm not really fussed on that programme myself Chris" Ray didn't really take any interest in giving Brookside and watch, as it was about Scousers.

He was about to ask DI Drake before got interrupted by Gene barging out of his office, black coat already thrown over him as he didn't acknowledge everyone's eyes watching him as he exited.

"Yer know... he's being a right idiot to you... " Ray's acknowledged his general opinion.

"Suppose he is... I've got a date tonight so I can't let how Gene is feeling bother me" she sighed, standing up to throw on her dark blazer jacket. Reaching down to collect a small wrapped gift from the drawers and placing it in her pocket. Quickly gathering any last remaining item from the desk before she turned to leave, she wanted to rush home and get ready for her date with Claude.

* * *

Luigii's head felt like it wass about to explode as Ray hounded him in having a stand up night in the restaurant.

'Oh come on Luigi please... I'll help collect the glasses in from the tables"

"Signor Ray... I can't my restaurant is for eating not entertainment"

"Luigi... are you trying to say you don't like entertainment" Ray expressed his surprise, eyebrow raised in wonderment and puzzlement.

"Of course I do.... but if you continue to hound me.. I shall be telling Signor Gene that you are an annoying nuisance"

Ray leaned over the bar and whispered something else, something thst Chris wasn't able to hear as he sat near by with Shaz.

"Well if Mister Hunt agrees with what you say... I'll organise a Comedy Night"

"Aww thanks my Italian friend you're the bloody best" both of his arms reached out to hug Luigi in his excitement but the little Italian hurried away as fast as possible, claiming he had to check on the Pasta that was currently bubbling away in a metal pan in the smaall kitchen.

"What did you say" Cheis asked hoping to hear what was said

"I said I'd offer to sing Italian songs this Saturday Night, if Customers request a song for a loved one"

"Ha DI Drake's gonna laugh her head off when she finds out" He chuckled as Shaz also joined in.

"Drake's a bit too busy dating that French poof from what i've heard" Ray couldn't hide the redness that appeared in his face but was very thankful to Luigi for allowing a Comedy night.

There was no sign of Gene anywhere in the restaurant, which caused a worry feeling to form in Luigi's stomach, the DCI had always been in early before the rest of the team every night.

"'Ave yer seen the Guv in here in the last hour Luigi?"

"I'm afraid not... I'm very worried about him... " He expressed a concern looking over towards the entrance, not even any sighting of anyone outside, the Quattro no where to be found.

"Oh sod this I'm going to find him... see whats troubling him" a determined Ray got up from the stool, waving goodnight to the team as he headed out on to the street, standing on the top step, observing a passionate, intense kiss being shared by Alex and Claude from across the road , the French business man seemed to have a bruise on the corner of his eye, but didn't want to say how he got it. He'd been involved in a massive brawl, keeping to himself about who his attacker was, Gene Hunt. The DCI downed a bottle of scotch inn the driver seat's of the Quattro while trying to clear his thoughts, , the location background was unrecognisable , clutching his bruised fists. Had it resorted to this, using violence to warn off his love rival?

**Next Chapter: Things are looking up as Ray is offered a chance of appearing on tv and Alex and Gene try to sort out their problems in a heart to heart in the office**


	5. Chapter 5

**Funny Detectives**

**Chapter 5**

**Bit angsty and full of hints of romance, Ray is offered a chance of appearing of tv showcase of new talents will he accept. Thank you to sash queen of the jungle, Smurf12345, Bloodheart06 and theHuntGoesOn for all the reviews for the fanfic much appreciated. Chapter unBetad**

He couldn't think positively on working , He couldn't finish eating both of the sandwiches that had been wrapped in a plastic packaging, he couldn't even do anything else as every thought always would be about Alex and that soddin french git Claude who she couldn't stop going about, saying how much she adored and cared so much about him it made Gene hate him even more, a pang of jealously swirling in the pit of his stomach. It was actually starting to depress him also as he took a swig of his bottle of scotch.

Quite franticially it was doing his head in having to listen to all the wonderful and marvellous words she spoke about Claude, buying new expensive clothes for her, a new expensive watch, he seemed to be lavishing her with so many gifts day after day for no reason. Although Gene didn't have loads of cash in his bank account, all he wanted to tell her was that she meant a great deal to him, at work and personally. If he had the chance it would have to be a heart to heart to sort out their romantic feelings once and for all. It made him gulp in his throat with a bout of nerves and cause a trickle of sweat to form across his eyebrow, taking one more bite of his Corned Beef sandiwch, he then threw the wrapper in the bin and made his way back to his office, turning around on his leather sized 8 boots to see if Alex was anywhere to be seen, she wasn't.

Ray was having a far more better and relaxing day, trying out his jokes on Shaz who surprisingly laughed at nearly all of them, they were beginning to get along famously.

"Blimey Ray you're actually more funnier than that comedian from the other night... You and Chris should be the next Morecambe and Wise"

"Really do you think so"

"I'm kidding really" she chuckled to herself

"Oh Thanks Shaz for building up me hopes there, for them jokes were working hilariously" he looked disappointed as he thought he'd put a lot of effort and determination into the jokes, it bought out a more humourous side within him, bringing a barrel of laughter from his lips as he needed it because of the tough cases that they would have to investigate.

"A tall northern man walks into a bar and has a couple of beers. Once he is done the bartender tells him he owes 10.00.

"But I paid, don't you remember?" says the customer.

"Okay," says the bartender, "If you say you paid, you did."

The man then goes outside and tells the first person he sees that the bartender can't keep track of whether his customers have paid.

The second man then rushes in, orders a beer and later pulls the same stunt.

The barkeep replies, "If you say you paid, I'll take your word for it."

Soon the customer goes into the street, sees an old friend, and tells him how to get free drinks.

The man hurries into the bar and begins to drink high-balls when, suddenly, the bartender leans over sand says, "You know, a funny thing happened in here tonight. Two men were drinking beer, neither paid and both claimed that they did. The next guy who tries that is going to get punched in the face."

"Don't bother me with your troubles," the final patron responds. "Just give me my change and I'll be on my way."

Chris certainly seemed to enjoy that joke but Gene didn't as he stood listening in, sporting a black bruised left eye.

"Is that supposes to be funny Carling.... Because I think that doesn't sound funny at all"

The night before after Ray had left to go and find him, Gene had been drinking himself in a right old state and his strange behaviour upset the DS who tried punching him in order to knock some sense into the drunken DCI.

"Sorry about the punch last night but to be honest you deserved it Guv for the way you were going about things"

"You punched him... Blimey Ray I didn' think you'd ever would.. seeing as you both act like brothers" Chris expressed his surprise, leaning back in his chair.

"By the way is there any sign of Drake yet because I'm eager to have a word with her over something?" He looked at the other detectives and police officers walking past the window.

"No not yet.. must have gone out on another date with Claude... I think he's really lovely..." Shaz replied

Gene started to wonder how long she will be seeing him this guy for, he had to do something now as he couldn't bear listening to another conversation about the French millionaire, he wanted to find something on him something that suggested he wasn't the perfect boyfriend Alex thought he was making out to be.

"Guv remember what i said last night about yer know...." Ray whispered as he stood facing him not wanting Chris and Shaz to start asking questions about what the DCI and DS talked about. Gene indicated that it would be best speaking in the office as both men went inside and closed the door.

"Wonder what that was about eh?" Chris continued to watch through the glass window, the Guv looked really unhappy with his head hung low, maybe he had received bad news from his doctor.

"Don't be daft baby....It'll be something do with DI Drake i think" Shaz sat next to him, tickling his wrist with two fingers.

"I disagree"

"Have you actually been listening to the subject of their conversations over the past day or so ...Well obviously you haven't seen the signs between them... its so obvious the Guv's in love with her and he can't stand Claude hanging around" Shaz knew she could always tell from people's body language of how they reacted around one another, it was clear to see.

* * *

Alex left her flat at around 9am having had another late night with Claude, he was so caring and kind laughing at her jokes and seeming to take an interest in her talking about Molly, he had told her that he also had a son that he doesn't see too often. She had a small hangover and wasn't particually happy to be going into work so early, even wearing sunglasses to protect her eyes as the sun blazed its heat down from the sky.

She felt dizzy, clutching her head and feeling that she may just able to do half a days work in the station, she didn't really need Gene shouting down her ear about late paperwork and disagreements about a suspect being innocent or Guilty. She could have just phoned into say she wouldn't be coming to work today.

A little while later as she made her way up the steps there was a nervous confrontation with Gene as he barged out of the front door entrance with Ray and Chris, both of them hestitated in speaking, just exchanging shared stares between each other as they stood frozen on the steps.

"Ahem Guv we've got a Football ground to get to"

"Oh yes well c'mon you lazy two nonces lets get a move on" he couldn't look at her, it killed him inside as he headed over to the Quatto parked by the curb. She clearly looked extremely upset and dejected it was as if he didn't know her anymore like she was a stranger to him. She also felt very hurt seeing as he was taking it too personal, afterall it was her love life not for him to be sticking his nose, looking to see what kind of man she dated.

The car pulled away, as he muttered swear words to himself, hating the type of man he was afraid of becoming.

"Jesus that was a bit awkward.... I hope they sort things about between themselves because the longer this goes on...the more i 'll be thinking about turning my Comedy Stand up dream into a full time job and retiring from the Police force" Ray whispered to Chris hoping the Guv hadn't heard what he said, unfortunately he did as he began to realise once they got back from speaking to the steward from Upton Park about the attack on him, he'd then pull Alex aside and have a word in private.

* * *

Shaz handed Alex her cup of coffee as the two females sat in the station kitchen both questioning why men always had an air of mystery surrounding them, the DI thought about Gene with that comment.

"Are you alright DI Drake... You look very quite today.. have you got a lot of things on your mind? The office in the background was becoming more like a ghost room as only two other detectives remained in the main office, they had received no new phone calls and no evidence files to look through. Maybe Gene had already achieved his goal of cleaning the streets of London from nasty liars, thieves, attackers and drug dealers, crime was on the verge of being at an new low, it made the London Met look good.

"I'm not sure really.... Gene's avoiding me and its upsetting me very much because we use to share all our feelings and problems about other stuff with each other... now i get the impression he just doesn't want to be around when I'm in the room" she took a sip of her coffee, tasting and smelling of Nescafe.

"Well all I know is that he and Ray got into a bust up last night, which Ray then punched him pretty hard"

"Oh my goodness is he alright....I did see a glimpse of the black eye" Alex remembered from two hours earlier, she'd only seen a quick glimpse of it.

"They should be back now.. when the Guv comes in I'll get on with some work" Shaz checked her watch as she emptied her cup in the sink, rinsing it with water and then putting it in the white cupboard. They sat in silence at the kitchen table, glancing a friendly smile.

Around an hour later the three detectives arrived back at work, Gene headed straight for his office and closed the blinds, shunning everyone including Alex, who didn;t know whether this was a sign of a rift beginning to form between the two colleagues, had it been a mistake dating Claude knowing that it quite clearly upset Gene.

"Gene i need to speak you... can i come in.... please talk to me"

Gene was sat resting his head against the door, trying to left peaceful thoughts wash through his mind, he did want to spek to her but only when the rest of the team had left to go to Luigis in a few hours time.

"Do you want me to kick the door in for yer Drake?" Ray stepped up offering, as he felt frustrated once again with his boss and friend.

"No you'll only anger him if you do" she answered, feeling a hurt sense in the pit of her stomach, eyes fixed on the blinds as they blew from the drafty wind. She turned around to look at Ray who sat blowing his nose in a handkerchief, sniffing, he seemed a lot more respectful and helpful than usual. She'd only just noticed the bruised the knuckles of Gene's, perhaps the fight had been a lot worse than they cared to let on about. She planned on staying behind at work waiting until that office door of DCI Hunt's opened, she'd wait all night if she had to.

* * *

3 and a half hours passed and there had still be no sign of any noise or movement being made from within Gene's dark office, the blinds were still closed, Superintendent Pullman would certainly not be very pleased if heard about Gene's childish and annoying behaviour.

Everyone started empting out of the office, all heading off to Luigis for some well earned drinks, Ray offered to walk Alex to the restaurant but she declined, making an quick excuse to cover her tracks saying that she had some last minute work to sort through, as soon as he left she went to stand at the office door again. Taking a huge breath she pounded at the door with the palm of her hand.

"Gene if you don't open this door I swear I'll kick in it Karate style" she threatened angrily feeling the blood pumping through her veins which scared her deep down but those choice of words seemed to do the trick as she heard the sound of chains unlocking the door from the inside, then he opened it wide as she stepped inside. He looked a right mess, hair wacky and wild like it had been electrocuted, eyes boiling hot.

"What do yer want?" he spoke clearing his dry throat with a cough.

"I think we need the sort out our problems once and for all wouldn't you think" she stepped inside closing the door.

He nodded in reply, offering her a glass of scotch which she accepted, he got out two small glasses putting them on the desk then poured the drinkn out for her.

"I think....erm no I'll let you start for a change" Alex spoke first but sensed that he'd wanted something to say, get off his chest.

" Can I ask yer what on earth do yer see him.... is it because yer love him or because he's loaded with cash.... personally i can't stand him, I can't stand his smug smarmy face "

"Its none of your business and Oh you're finally you're starting to admit it what i've suspected"

"Admit what.... that he's not right for you..., that there are a whole lot of better men out there for you... who you could date and fall in love with" He growled back angrily, breath heaving through his nostrils.

"I see what this is now... you're jealous of him aren't you.... that you're not him... that you don't have the same amount of money that he does, that you don't even have a better job than he does"

"Okay I am jealous fine .....is that what you wanted to hear" He answered, feeling his eyes alight with fire burning within their depths.

"Gene you know i happen to be falling in love with him because he's a sweet, caring individual who doesn't go around thumping suspicious looking people like you do when things don't go your way" she replied emotionally, feeling a red rawing rage within threatening to explode.

"Yer know what I can see it fully in yer eyes that yer don't love him, that you only like him buying present for you.... Shit I can't believe I'm admitting this but here its goes....Bols I'm falling in love with you myself and its killing me inside seeing you with this other man... In fact I've always been in love with you from the first day we met i kidded myself in thinking that you didn't have feelings for me back then but now i've seen the error of my ways.... when you see him next dump him... I wanna be with you" he pleaded leaving Alex dumbfounded as she listened to him bearing his soul in front of her, it was a complete different side that she was now beginning to see in him.

"I can't do it to him... I'm afraid I'll hurt him"

"Please Bols" he stepped forward from behind his desk walking round it as he placed a hand on her cheek, wiping a tear away from her face with his thumb. He tugged on her wrist pulling her closer to him, he placed another hand to the other side of her face.

"You've got no idea have you what its been like for me, wanting to kiss those lips of yours, wanting to hold you in my arms and never letting you go, wanting to whisper how much i love you in yer ear" He sighed as he began kissing her forehead and then moved his lips over her nose with soft light kisses, hand stroking her hair softly.

"Please stay with me Bols... don't leaveme in 'ere' on my own... stay " he whispered cooly in her earlobe causing ripple of electricity to shoot throughout her body , his heart was starting to break in two, no other woman had ever had such a huge affect like this on him before, he was convincing himself that she would stay with him all night at work, but unfortunately he was soon to be left feeling disappointed by her response.

"I can't... I just can't.....I'm sorry Gene...I promised Ray that me and Claude will see him performing his jokes at Luigis" she left go of Gene's hand as she walked towards the door taking a glance back at him.

"Bols I'm given you this choice its either me or him its your decision" He wasn't going to give up in winning her from Claude, he knew his love for his own DI would never die that it would remain stronger than ever.

* * *

In Luigis Ray basked in the applauds of cheering and shoutings of well done by a very drunk Chris who nearly missed his seat as he sat down.

Alex entered with Claude, arms linked together.

"What took yer so long yer missed me ace jokes... everyone loved them"

"Oh sorry I just onlly finished the paperwork and I left Gene alone in the office.. I had a word with him but i think he maybe okay with me again" she was afraid of admitting the whole truth. Claude went to buy the team some drinks from the bar.

A tall 40 year old man approached the team at the tables.

"Hi I'm Wes Hollins I'm from the BBC...I've just heard your jokes on stage and i have to say i'm really impressed would you be interested in attending filming for a new comedy show at BBC centre"

"Ray I don't trust 'im', he looks a bit dodgy " Chris showed his suspicions through eye contact.

"I can show you my BBC badge if you want" He reached into his black short jacket pocket. but Ray stopped him.

"Alright I'll come along what day is it being filmed?"

"Tuesday evening, where they filmed a scene from Doctor Who involving the Sea Monsters"

"Who's presenting it?"

"Bob Monkhouse"

"I feel nervous about appearing on telly now"

Alex was happy for Ray, maybe this was the sign of exciting things to come for the DS, as she silently at the table, she couldn't help but think about what Gene had told her, maybe she had made the wrong choice in being with Claude, she need a long and hard think about what she was going to do

**Next Chapter: Will Gene and Alex's arguing ruin Ray's big tv opportunity**


	6. Chapter 6

**Funny Detectives**

**Chapter 6**

**Final chapter**

Why was she taking so long to make one simple and easy decision afterall it had been just 1 week since their heart to heart conversation ?, sometimes Gene struggled to understand women, how they treated daily life and how other men seemed to do almost everything for them. He sat with his feet resting up on the desk, chair rocking back off its legs against the wall, with a clear view of the main double doors of the main entrance, eyes fixed on who would appear next.

Scribbling a penciled drawing on a small piece of paper, he couldn't help it but at least it cured any boredom he had while waiting for DI Drake to show up for work. An interruption halted any last opportunity of finishing the drawing, folding the paper up in half and placing it in his jacket pocket.

"Alright Guv… haven' got to ask yer all week seeing as we've been snowed under with tons of work but what happened to you last Thursday night… you didn't show up at Luigis….didn't yer want to show yer face while Claude was there?"

"So he was there with all of you.... sorry I 'aven't' been feeling up to drinking in Luigis especially if he's going to be there from now often i rather avoid joining in"

"Luigi's missing you.... always a bottle of house rubbish ready behind the bar"

"Claude bought us all drinks probably trying to win us over, i mean the cheek of him to trying anything to impress " damn it she still mustn't have told him, Alex certainly was stalling and he didn't like it one little bit, he had to deliver another reminder but he was determined not to rush her with this ultimatium, Alex was like no other woman he'd ever met before, even though she was a posh brunette nuisance he saw something in that made his stomach do flip overs in nervous fashion, her beauty has astounded him, sometimes it stopped him from working as he found his eyes watching everything she did. Even without knowing she was driving him insane with romantic feelings bubbling to the surface.

"How the hell does she do it" talking to himself which caused a brief concerned look from Ray as he stood leaning on the door handle. "eh what you blabbing out about?"

"Sorry Raymondo... me and erm Drake.... we spoke after everyone left last Thursday evening.... i told her i loved her....... i even told her to dump Claude... christ what i'm like this is nothing like me...."

"She said you two sorted things out.... the crafty liar.... " he sighed, trying to think of something positive to say " But I think you did said the right thing Guv.... Be honest Claude looks like a guy who won't hang around for long and she's only gonna get her heart broken i've seen it all before"

"What are you suggesting?"

" Look all i'm saying is be there for her... shoulder to cry on for when times get tough"

" Yeah but I don't want to be her shoulder to cry on.... christ sakes i love the woman and she'll just presume i've changed me mind and decided to be friends with her which is what i don't want..."

"But if and when she splits up with him" Ray was looking like he was trying to predict when the break up would occur "Look you're not getting what i'm tryin to say she'll need a familar friend who could offer her some support, seeing as you two are close anyway you can comfort Drake instead of me or Chris we'd just come out with something stupid"

"Cheers Ray for the advice" Gene muttered sarcastically taking his feet off the table as he tied the desk.

It was clear they weren't going to settle this dispute any time during the day as Gene ordered him to take some evidence files down to Viv at the help desk, the lady in question arrived at the same moment Ray left the office.

Exchanging glances with her DCI from across the room she gulped feeling his stare run right through her mind and down into her stomach , both holding their stares for a few minutes, the tension and atmosphere within the busy working environment would surely be hard to cope with once they clashed with fury and anger.

"Drake my office" he finally spoke whilst standing in the doorway, everyone stopped what they were doing and looked on to see her walking closer to DCI Hunt's office as they sensed trouble would be about to brew between the always fighting colleagues.

"Erm yes what... what did you want to see me about Gene?" she stuttered unable to string out a proper sentence.

"So after what i said you didn't split up with him......"

"I told you the other night I'm not just going to dump him, without any reason"

"I've wasted my time telling you haven't I, how i feel about you..... for we had something special"

"We do.... But all you seem to do is want to rule my love life"

" So thats what you think about me?"

"Well yes actually.... me and you we've had chances in the past but you've blown them away because of your stupidity and arrogrance"

"Arrogrance?" he repeated that last word over and over again, standing straight facing oppositely not breaking eye contact, his eyes still full of sadness and humilation.

"Gene I do love you but if we started a relationship its not going to be plain sailing like you would want it to be" she explained hoping he might understand every word but his reaction was confusing toi say the least, leaving the matter still unresolved as he chose to change the subject unexpectedly.

"So are you still going down this afternoon to watch Ray's big tv debut?"

"Erm what oh yes.... of course i am.... he'll need all of us there to support him.. help calm his jitters and nerves"

"Good" he replied, head turned to look back at the desk, "haven't you got some work to be getting on with Bolls"

"Yes I have" she answered sadly, looking directly at him but not receiving a return look. He couldn't believe a single person had come between him and the woman he wanted to be with and thst it was now beginning to affect their working relationship too, he was so sure before long that she would be talking of putting in for a transfer away from Fenchurch.

After searching on the office computer for any criminal records files on Claude Grenier, it turned out he was clean as a whistle maybe Gene had stuck his nose far too much into Alex's personal life.

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

"Bonjour Gene" Claude appeared at the door, hand reached out to shake Gene's which he did, Alex looked on in the background looking relieved that the men were making attempts to get along for her sake.

"Are you coming to the BBC Studios with us..... I know you want me off the scene.... she told me" he whispered bitterly against Gene's ear, this man just wouldn't let it lie, thinking he was some sort of a Casanova.

"I'm coming on me own in my Quattro and by the way I'm still not convinced by you.... bet all of your girlfriends wouldn't be pleased if they found out that you messing around with other women"

"Guv you coming.... got be there by 5pm ... you should hear Ray on the phone he's absolutely bricking it" Chris shouted in, laughing, dark brown jacket zipped up and ready to leave.

"Wait there I'll follow you on", He closed the office door behind him and decided to give Claude an ultimatium,

"I want to see you gone by next week..... Look I care a great deal about Alex..I especially don't want to see her left heartbroken by some cocky French poof very much like you....."

Alex had been left waiting around outside the police station, shivering whilst standing on the steps in warm trousers, a dark pinkish polo neck jumper and her warm winter coat, what on earth was taking both men so long, she certainly hoped that Gene wasn't threatening to punch Claude's lights out.

A little while later they both emerged from the front entrance but not walking alongside each other

"Gene can we all just go in the Quattro instead, Claude's currently having his car repaired" she asked, presuming everything had been sorted out but in reality it hadn't, Without waiting for his answer the couple climbed into the back seat. Gene had been so use to Alex sitting next to him in the front of the car, Claude's arm flung around Alex has she rested up against in warm clothed chest he looked straight at him with such glee and delighting in Gene's misery, it enraged the DCI so much that he tried to pretend that they weren't even in the car as it drove off, heading towards the BBC filming studios.

"The windows are freezing cold.... blimey if i left my hands any longer they'll end up sticking... Gene"

He ignored her

"Gene are you actually listening to me?"

"What what is it woman!!! he growled back, chest heaving stronger than ever, his worrying behaviour scared her to the core.

"Sorry Bols....."

Claude opted to no go with them at the last minute, Gene's words at affected his thoughts, surprising Gene with his next words.

"Alex I can't do this anymore.... its obvious what is happening here.... you both are in love with each other and you should be together.... I never been in love with you myself but i know Gene here with show you all the love you need"

"Claude" she cried tearfully, pulling at the collar of his coat, crying in her soon to be ex's arms.

"There.. there" brushing the hair away from her eyes, "its been great this last week with you.... I'm sure there's a woman out there who can love me dearly" The car slowed at the Highton flyway junction on the outskirts of Fenchurch,

"You can drop me off here"

"Will do" Gene's behaviour changed suddenly, realising he might have gone too far in trying to win Alex's heart, she clearly needed comforting in the back seat. The car door opened just outside by the new Asda Supermarket and Claude climbed out, waving goodbye to both of them.

"Happy now are you" her only reply was, as she used a handkerchief to wipe any last tears, looking out at the freezing grass verge of the Asda supermarket car park.

The car stopped again, and Gene climbed out opening the passenger door and climbed in, sittinf next to Alex,

"Bolls no protests.. come 'ere'" Wrapping her in his arms, eyes closed, hearing the sound of her cries was bad enough but to be shouted made him feel even worse, as she attempted to push herself away from him.

"I hate you... I hate you" he wouldn't budge, still keeping his arms around her weak and emotional body. She pounded her hands again and again against him but he wouldn't take no for an answer, whispering promises of looking out for her.

Upon opening his eyes, he saw something had completely changed different within her, that made gulp with adoration and closeness. Her eyelashes fluttering at him, signs of a happy smile emerging from her lips,

"Gene.... "

"See thats more like it..... Good to have the great Bolly back again... mind you she still annoys and bores the hell out of me" he cheekily pointed out

"Oi you cheeky Baffoon" punching him in the arm which secretly hurt.

"So I'm a Baffon am I" He asked smirking with amusement

Wiping her tears away with his thumb, he starting losing himself in her presence but didn't want it spoiling the moment.

"Gene he was right..... I've been trying to hide all my feelings for you inside.... The other night when you told me that you loved me... I wanted to kiss you so badly but I was scared of hurting Claude"

"Bolls"

"What?"

"Shut up" he chuckled placing a finger over her lips to silence her, lifting her smooth chin to face him, both smiling infectiously towards each other, it had all come to this and Gene was now witnessing the true meaning of the word 'love' and the strange and funny things it did to you, leaving his stomach rumbling deep within.

Nose to Nose only a mere cenitmetres apart, he took one glance before claiming her with his lips, it was like nothing they had imagine before, their first kiss was gentle and sweet, her hands running through his hair, ruffling it messy as she pushed him back against the leather seat, heel rubbing between his outter thigh.

Pulling away a minute later they gasped for breath, for Gene it was the best kissed he'd ever sahred with any woman, she's made all his Christmasses, Birthdays and Celebrations come together and he loved it, not being able to get enough of her in the back seat.

Looking at his watch, he realised they were running late to meet Ray, Chris, Viv and Shaz outside BBC centre in Wood Lane W12, the whole team had been incredibly excited to sit in the audience and watch their DS standing in front of millions of television viewers and attempting to deliver some quality jokes.

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

Ray was eager to go inside, as he busily rehearsed some last few jokes off a piece of paper, muttering silently to himself as he walked up and down by the water fountain outside,as he was about to light up a cigarette which would help keep him calm and composed, Chris' arm swung around knocking the lighter on the floor.

"Oh sorry mate I didn't see yer about to light up a cigarette"

"That was me last one.... I'll have to buy another packet"

"So where's this Wes Hollins?...... he's pulled a fast one on you snd you did realise it"

At that exact moment the man appeared with six VIP passes, "Great to see you Ray.... here are your passes..." counting how many were in the group, " will your two other friends be arriving soon because filming starts in less than half an hour and Bob doesn't like to be kept waiting for too long"

Chris couldn't wait to see Bob Monkhouse in person, speaking to the audience and offering advice to the budding, promising new comedians including Ray, the young Detecive Constable actually felt a tiny bit jealous wishing it was himself performing in front of the audience.

"Oh Eh up here they come and about time to" the two colleagues had finallt arrived just in the nick of time.

"Where's Claude?" Ray asked, wondering what possibly could have happened to explain his absense.

"Oh he won't be coming" Alex explained to the group as they walked down the corridors with their passes, walking passed framed pictures of famous television stars such as Sid James, Frankie Howard, Mike Yarwood and Michael Crawford, the anticipation of approaching the studio doors almost made Ray want to faint.

"Ray... Ray.... earth to planet Carling" Gene waved a hand by the DS's face as he snapped out of his starstruck look.

"Look its Bob Monkhouse over there"

"No way....bloody hell is it" the first glimpse of the television host signing autographs to the fans by the stage door.

He waved at the team as he walked passed, asking for a word with Wes by the cafeteria.

"Eh you're gonna end up being a television star yourself before long"

They were invited inside, following Wes and Bob as they stood in the middle of the stage were so many episodes of tv shows had been filmed previously.

Gene, Chris, Alex, Viv and Shaz were shown to their seats in the audience while Ray rushed backstage and into the dressing rooms with the other hopefuls were practising last minute performances, make up was added to Ray's cheeks to show more glow and colour in them before the stylist had a chance to straighten his hair, he insisted that no one touches " me hair".

Back outside, Gene and Alex found it too hard to stop holding each other's hands, she had to slap his hand away as he starting to get too frisky.

"Oww what did yer do that for...." looking hurt as he pulled her hand to rest on his thigh, getting a smiling glance from Shaz as she looked sideways to what they were doing.

"So you finally made up and kissed" she whispered

"Yeah afraid so... Claude made me see that Gene was the only man who could show me utter devotion and love"

"awww thats so sweet"

"I know"

"Oh Great you told Shaz" he murmed looking annoyed with his new lover.

"Five minutes since we've got together and you already making one of your silly sarcasm jokes"

"Sorry Bols"

Holding up her hand in full view and pressing a gentle kind kiss across her fingers.

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

Ray had been too busy exchanging flirty glances with the female backstage caller as she stood by the dressing room door with her red clipboard, if he had the chance afterwards he desperately wanted to ask her on a date if she didn't mind.

"Ray Carling" Hearing his name being shouted so loudly for everyone else to overhear made his knees go like jelly, as he approached towards the door and followed on the backstage caller as she showed him direction to the main stage, the music hit right on time as he appeared in front of shining bright ligght that almost blinded him in both eyes.

Letting a dry cough before he spoke, remembering what he'd written down the first joke was about the football team and their failure to not win any trophies since 1966, the joke raised about 50 laughs which seemed okay as he carried on with microphone in hand

"And I tell yer another thing what about these new electronic games and gadgets almost takes me like forever to figure out how to play them.... seeing as I'm bit old fashioned" amazingly even though his little humourous comment was actually that good it still raised more laughs.

After 20 minutes the buzzer sounded and he'd finished, disappearign behind the red curtains, he breathed a sigh relief "thank god i thought i'd be out there all night by the way it was going"

Wes stood beside him looking very impressed, "Hey Ray you did fantastically out there Bob chuckled a few times... saying that you reminded him of a younger Sid James"

"Really" he stood in surprise, drinking a bottle of water to ease his sore throat.

Gene and the others congratulated him with hugs and pats on the back, "Hey mate you stole the show out there congrats"

"Well Done Ray" Alex smiled, clinging onto Gene's hand very hard, "What do you think.... go to Luigis or my flat?"

"Your flat"

"Hey where heading off we'll see you for drinks at Luigis around 9pm"

"9pm What are they up to?" Ray's eyebrow creased shooting up

" They kissed from what Shaz told me"

"Chris you idiot..,. told you not to tell him yet..." she squeezed and pinched his arm tight

"Glad you told me..... Guv's done the right thing for once... am happy for them"

"Well that Claude wasn't the right guy for her anyway... The Guv is.... just watch his face tomorrow bet she'll have him grinning like cheesily"

Outside the Quattro speeded off from the Television studios car park.

"Right Bols I can't wait to wake up with you in the morning in that lovely bed of yours"

"I musn't forget I need to get that bottle of house rubbish from Luigi"

"Oh Sod the bottle of house rubbish... we're going up to my flat have you got that Mr Hunt"

"Yes Mam" impersonating a New York accent

**The End **

**I'd planned to increase to the eight chapters but didn't have enough ideas left for it, I think Six was excellent for this fanfic hope it was great to read.**


	7. Chapter 7

**Due to popular demand, I've chosen to do another chapter of this fanfic, it features more about Ray and how he deals with his rising popularity, he looks out for Gene and Alex as they struggle to cope with their relationship, will Ray's advice work and will he manage to keep Chris' mouth quiet. This is now a M rated fanfic does contain some bad language and smut.**

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**Funny Detectives- Chapter 7**

Amazingly things felt ever furthermore pleasant and contented for Ray, without significantly knowing Gene and Chris wordlessly organized a boys night out to celebrate their admired, rising comedian friend, Ray being Ray didn't desire of a big fuss being made, all he really sought after was to make an effort and make use of his emerging stand-up achievement to charm their knickers off a young gorgeous blond bird in Luigi's, Ray made a spur of the moment plan to arrive earlier and hide behind the counter with Luigi's permission, whether the well-loved Italian restaurateur agreed.

"Oh I hate all this congratulations ...beginning to wish I hadn't unveiled my comedic background…Guv's gonna look to me to hopefully enlighten the team when they're feeling downhearted and discouraged by failing to nab a suspect in an investigation case" Ray sadly revealed to Alex as both Detectives looked to comedy to raise a smile on the brightened faces.

"Oh Ray don't consider that all this entertainment is spoiling what you love dearly about being an honest, tenderhearted, forthright male" Alex enriched thoughtfully.

"Is it me or have you somehow misplaced an misty crystal prediction ball with the name Ray printed on it" Ray added wittily, his eyes looking elsewhere as he seen Terry and Chris chatting outside, occasionally smiling towards him, where they talking about him because Ray sensed his ears scorching hotly.

"Now you're beginning to regenerate into Gene out of the blue, you know he's getting on my nerves quite literally and leaving me pretty infuriated…I guess you giving us both the nudge essentially succeeded but now I always keep catching him eyeing up new skirt and him flirting...mentioning his famous quotations" Alex felt self-conscious over discussing her 2 week long relationship with Gene, thankfully Ray looked as if he read her mind most of the time and had some significant advice for her.

"Guv will until the end of time always be the same dozy grumpy div, communicating and flirting with some blond tart, its his thing but I know he's a man who desires reassurance and love..the ex unfortunately ran out on him horribly ..blimey you should have seen his face he got pissed night after night..I imagined his heart had shattered in two…bloody brokenhearted he was and now since he's met you I've never seen him so happy and smitten with you…I think you've helped him to grow into become a better man for the good…my advice would be show him how much you cherish the ground he walks on for you" Ray said, Alex articulately held out gratefulness and appreciation for her colleague's thoughtful enchanting words of advice, she promised to capture them and remind herself of the astounding love she heartwarming grappled with. Gene appeared and approached the kitchen muttering as he stridently came closer, a cigarette clutched between two fingers in one hand and a cup in the other hand, his stomach loudly rumbled hungrily.

"Right you two chatterboxes..I've had my evident lingering eye on you both in here in your own talkers corner ….any chance of some work you two or Raymondo are you daring to put your Ronnie Barker spectacles on and cheer the team up with some Two Ronnies so-called comical tale…Bolls get your posh sexy tarty bum over to your desk prom-to" Ray glared at Gene, half expecting him to give her a well-deserved break. Alex ticked Gene's wrist as she left, once the door had eventually closed, Ray decided to ask Gene an important question.

"Guv do you love Alex?" Ray kindly asked out of the blue.

"What?" Gene pivoted to face him slightly embarrassed by what say to utter in response, placing the cigarette down in an ashtray and the cup on the table, hands now tucked securely in trouser pockets, he appeared to act like a naughty shy schoolboy awaiting a telling-off.

"I mean …Do you feel your stomach gushing with something you're incapable of describing or do you feel a like lovesick puppy every time she wriggles her bum in your direction" _Bloody Nora I'm poking my bloody big nose in again…here we go..he's going to threaten me say something like Go and waggle your prying boisterous big hooter elsewhere_

"Since when have you start handing out love advice Raymondo?" Gene stopped, inadvertently requesting of why the sudden interest in offering romantic suggestions.

"Never answered me question…Gene…I can see you two feel as closer than ever…I was surprised than anyone else in the station when hot word broke out about you and Drake snogging passionately that night in the BBC's studio corridor the night..I was catapulted to stardom" He didn't receive the answer he wanted in its place, this personalized conversation presumably looked as if it'd end with a responded sharp-witted remark courtesy of Gene.

"Of course i care about Drake, I've got a thousands words of describing her with...she's drop dead gorgeous, says the right thing to put me in my place...can be quite a pain when she waggles her fingers ...Why are you giving up on your dream?, I presumed you'd become accustomed to, signing autographs from the gorgeous WPCs and the Police Constables…Ray for Christ's sake..concentrate on everything you've accomplished since becoming a Detective..oh by the way me and Chris have prepared a spontaneous treat for you this evening…been informed not breath a word" Gene tapped the left side of his nose, indicating a secretive gesture, one no one else could ever uncover even not gossiper Alex.

"That doesn't give a distinctive impression" Ray strenuously accredited, the last two weeks had been a high rising priceless point in his long-term life, he generously enjoyed what the newspapers mentioned of him.

_Ray Carling…a true gifted star…his comedy heroes…Tony Hancock..Eric Morecambe and Ernie Wise and The two Ronnies- Ronnie Barker and Ronnie Corbett..look out for him in the future a upcoming comedian sure to sell out comedy tours_

**xxxx**

"Oh joy of bloody array of joy" Ray poked fun at, struggling to find how this planned lads night out could help matters, he said residing 'no' to them, at first glance when they spotted three younger wannabe supermodels, shoulder pads hitched up as out rightly as any fashionable Alexis Carrington dresses from Dynasty, they swiftly followed on in pursuit. Down the steps of the side entrance, awkwardly strutting past one of the towering bouncers Gene secretly gather he could knock out in a fight if he got the chance.

"Maybe tonight's not as unpleasant as you're making it out to potentially be Ray…besides there's plenty of attractive girls in and around the club! Bet they'll be begging to hear you enlighten them with one of jokes" Chris could hardly hear himself think let alone talk, as he shouted as loud as he possibly could over the loudspeakers in the nightclub bar, ordering drinks from the bar as he sat on a swiveling stool, roughly blinded by the blue neon lights, flashing beyond and in the far background.

"What the one about the Guv and the cartoon chicken fighting , no way..its too rude and foulmouthed that joke...only blokes get that particular joke, not birds they'd assume it to be too offensive if i dare mention it... i'd only receive a slap across the face " Ray protested as he fought off attempts of Chris ushering him over to one girl who sat alone in the corner.

Gene burst out of laughing and almost out of his pants at the sight of his two side-splitting, quarrelsome friends, who'd generally provided some quality entertainment in front of other clubbers' individual views, Chris pushed Ray, with an encouraging few words refusing to give up "Looks like you two need to introduce yourselves..come on you're already boring me with you'r unimaginable lack of courage….right five seconds I'll turn me back to yer and you'd better be over the other side of the room..got it" Chris carefully placed a hand over his eyesight, muttering, unrecognized words remaining hopeful so no one could butt and overhear.

"Yeah..Yeah I bloody got yer point" Ray mumbled frustratingly as he picked up his large glass rimmed drink and went over to chat to the lonely brunette Chris mentioned, he felt he should keep her company seeing as no one appeared to be talking to her.

"Guv what's happening…Guv let me know will yer I feel an utter daft pillock with eyes hidden away….Guv?" Chris glanced around, strangely his Detective Chief Inspector had disappeared off somewhere without uttering a word or a specified indication _Shit bet he's met some bird and got her knickers down in the gents…oh shit poor Alex, _he ultimately dreaded something worse, not that it was his business to watch out for his older friend when it came down to honesty, love and relationships, Chris truthfully trusted Gene wouldn't do the dirt on Alex with a bird he'd just met.

"So what's your name sweetheart?" Ray flirted lightheartedly keen not to make one fatal mistake of obviously looking down her top if he became too tipsy and blind drunk out of his mind.

"My name's Cheryl….oh don't worry I know who you are…You're that genius comedian who was on television the other night..thought you stood out amongst those other boring comedians" Cheryl seemed to care and understand what he wanted to see.

**xxxx **

In the men's gents, a relaxed Gene searched all four men's closed small cubicles, in his favourite way of doing things, kicking them in with his large heavy left boot.

"Alright everyone out..now I'm Detective Chief Inspector!" He growled, frightening the young male clubbers "….undercover currently searching for a filthy street scumbag suspected of dealing something he shouldn't be…" He had to deliberately create some unforgiving excuse, for what he ineffectively never informed Ray and Chris about, he carefully locked the door from the inside, breathing a sigh relief, as he studied the reflection of his facial spots in the mirror oppositely.

The second door opened with a huge thud that rattled the other cubicles, an feminine finger-flexed invitation from a unseen stranger charmed him instantly, he glanced around, double checking to see if no noisy parker might be hiding and stepped forward smirking towards this second cubicle, swaggering slowly towards the door and he soon discovered the identity of the hideaway.

"Well…Well fancy seeing you here Bolly…how did you manage to successfully sneak in here without anyone else's buggering eyes detecting your suspicious movements" Gene expressively kissed the tip of her nose, holding her tightly in his welcoming arms, delighted to see that she somehow executed a great strategy of arriving at the nightclub undetected by their other detectives.

"Oh you know me Mr Hunt…I used my virtuous flirtatious techniques…i promised one of the guys a dinner date Friday night….and before you ask I successfully tricked the poor cute guy…we need to spice up our relationship good and proper" She tenderly reached two hands up and wrapped them firmly around the back of his lower neck, lips quivering in anticipation as she gently flicked her tongue teasingly across and soothingly below his jaw line, and upward towards his pouting lips, he shivered lovingly at the feel of it every numerous seconds as her tongue next ran teasing circles up and below his ear.

"Oh really Bolly…guess that was an inexcusable thing to do to a poor unfortunate nightclub nonce, foremostly leading him ashtray..you should be punished right here…right now…I bloody well mean every word" his husky growling voice abruptly ended, his hands cunningly creeping underneath her thin red bright blouse, cheekily aiming to feel and caress her gorgeous breasts, Gene knew this turned her on every time he did this whether it was in her luxurious bedroom back at her flat, his office back at CID whenever he cleverly had everyone snowed under with mountains of documents.

"Here right now…oh my Gene…you may confess to being an unloved, old school detective at heart but you never fail to amaze me every time…you're incredibly sexy, your hands do wondrous things to me i can never even tell anyone else about and lastly you have an amazing cock…ohh" the feel of his hand pinching her left nipple became too much to bare as she gasped pleasurably, immediately giving into obvious desire, her lungs hitching breathlessly, her legs buckling, her heart a fluttering, she desired to scream effectively, always he had her begging for more when it mattered altogether, Gene possessed an mind-blowing magical spell over her, one she couldn't precisely explain in her mind.

"Yeah alright Bolly.. You never know which bastard might be listening…someone might have overheard you appreciating my you know what" His cheeks reddened adorably, one by one each button popped revealing a new feature of her wonderful toned body, Gent thought best to be grateful by kissing and licking her neck which he eventually did, feathering as many kisses as he could, the sound of her sensual moans spared him on furthermore, his bum cheeks squeaking strongly against the door, feeling his hardened length itching to be unveiled gloriously. She looked too irresistible, to be shagging in an miniature cubicle especially as anyone could walk in, perhaps Ray and Chris, giving them quite a sight to witness.

Alex insisted leaving her blouse wide open, unclipping the straps of her black silk bra, teasingly drawning down one strap on her left arm and next returned the favour by expertly unfastening Gene's blue baggy shirt.

"You should have worn your green shirt, makes you look quite handsome and shaggable ." Alex giggled, nuzzling her nose against his upper bare torso once he'd been exposed.

"Enough talkin Alex..get down to business" Gene acceptably granted Alex's continuous wish to unfasten his belt strap from around his waist, she managed it without a problem and lastly pulled both his trousers and boxers down around his ankles. She took great pleasure in seeing his erect cock up close and personal, before she could even blink Gene quickly undid Alex's trousers and knickers dropping them to the cubicle floor within seconds, he tugged her left smooth leg around his waist securely, his free hand dropping down to caress her upper right thigh, affectionately kissing her with such tenderness and gradual passion, slipping his tongue inside her mouth so they'd grapple together tasting each other, their passion fulfilled instantaneously.

Gene entered Alex's aching body with practical ease, gathering encouragement from the feel of her hands cupping his rounded face compassionately, soon he quickened and thrashed his hips against hers, the heightened pleasure in his cock soaring as higher than before, the imaginable feel of her walls clamping within him, encouraged him even further, the sound of their lovemaking clear to hear, Alex managed to hide her sexual groan within her throat, the longer he went on the more hard it would become not to impossibly scream his name echoingly out there and then.

"Alex…I love you…,.You mean everything to me…I'm sorry I don't tell you this often than I should" He enthusiastically whispered against her ear making her presume he'd been drinking far too much alcohol at the bar with Ray and Chris.

"You're pissed Gene" she hysterically laughed, overcome with lust.

"Bollocks all I'm drunk on is you Bolly, always have been, that's my confession for you… I mean I've bloody loved you since day one..since i set my eyes on you" He thrashed against her repeatedly, struggling for breath, as the toilet and the wall of the cubicle threatened to topple over against the mirror outside the cubicles. Alex felt her orgasm building and building until it washed over in a matter of seconds, she practically had to bite hard on his shoulder to prevent herself from giving the game to way to the other clubbers outside, she was utterly convinced someone had heard them having sex.

"Ohhhh Geeeeenneee" suddenly she gave up screaming his name out loud, she'd resisted temptation long enough, as she pushed inside him, her thighs quaking roughly against the back wall, certain they'd be bruised and hard to walk on.

"Fuck….Alex" Gene realized she'd bitten on his shoulder and from the corner of his eye spotted a droplet of blood on his shoulder blade, she certainly showed herself to be as feistier and persuasive than he presumed she'd be.

He could stand no more, the sounds of continuous persistent knocking interrupted them, ruining their finale. Gene energetically pushed for a concluding release within her and finally emptied himself within her quivering body.

"We've had complaints of a couple having sex in here..can you please come out immediately….or we'll have no choice in having to kick you both out of this nightclub!" The unseen enraged bouncer demanded continuously, his heavy fists pounding on the door, 10 minutes he had little choice, forcibly kicking hard and elbowing the door of the men's toilets in, only to discover the mischievous couple had escaped out of the backstreet window.

Gene and Alex ran together hand in hand as fast as they could up a drenched darkened side alleyway, Gene still half naked his trousers still dangled around his ankles, failing to re-do the buttons on his shirt which left him bare chested on a freezing cold night, "Oh Bolly you are one naughty Detective Inspector I must confess….shagging your DCI in a men's bog…very impressive we should have do this more often…I love this naughtiness thing we do " Gene burst out in a barrel of laughs as he romantically tugged on her hand before they vanished around the corner, preparing to speed off in the parked Quattro.

"You know you could get done for exposure Gene...what will everyone say in CID tomorrow when and if they hear what we've been up to" she teased enjoying the look on his face that spoke volumes.

"Oi Alex not a word...don't need Fenchurch East's resident legendary detectives Chris and Ray gossiping about us" Gene hilariously dived on to back seat of the car, struggling miserably to zip up his trousers, seeing as Alex was now fully dressed despite her hair being as messy than an England footballer's hairdo she decided to drive and within seconds she speeded the car off.

**End of chapter**


	8. Chapter 8

**Funny Detectives Chapter 8 - part 1 **

**I'm aiming to complete the last two chapters of this fanfic as a two parter, Ray excitedly prepares for an upcoming date and Alex and Gene worryingly presume their planned nighttime rendezvous will go disastrously wrong. This was latest chapter completed around the same time as the previous chapter 7, the one i posted yesterday. A bit shortened but a very good read. **

Gene had vulnerably began to wish he hadn't reluctantly stepped one foot into CID the next morning bringing his cup from the kitchen and finding himself under the watchful eye of every smirking detective in CID, he sensed tongues were waggling around the clock someone from the station cottoned on or either way had discovered the loved up detectives swiftly dashing away from the nightclub, _whose spilt the beans…for fucks sake I'm getting some demanding answers from this gossiping mischief-maker, _Alex thoroughly pledged she wouldn't dare breath a single word, so straight away he ruled her out, standing tall in his office, he exchanged an playful demonstrative look of love with Alex as she powerlessly struggled to enclose some obvious romantic feelings whilst still concentrating on work_ Damn you Gene Hunt for being so bloody utterly sexy _

"Christopher a word… my office" Gene muttered quietly, motioning for the younger Detective Constable to step forward and close the door behind him once as he did exactly that, nervously approaching, his hands shaking and entering the small office, standing as nearer to the entrance, he coughed anxiously, sensing he'd be sworn at for telling too much.

"What was it you wanted to see me about?…erm Guv…If it's about last night I swear…I never meant to blab..the big bouncer put pressure on me asked if i knew the identity of the couple getting it on the men's toilets...i said i never knew..then this morning i remembered seeing DI Drake running away from the nightclub so i guessed it had been you two...I accidentally let slip to Shaz and she must have mentioned to someone else in here " Chris began to panick self-consciously , palms sweating abundantly, he felt intensely ashamed to have even opened his big mouth.

"Chris If you'd presumed I'd cheat on Alex I wouldn't not in a million years..all I'm trying to say is I'm very disappointed that you tittle-tattled on me and DI Drake to everyone in CID didn't want my personal life being the subject of hot gossip…straightway now I'm suddenly about to become the butt of everyone else's jokes which i really am not looking forward to" Gene despondently acknowledged his inner fearfulness, god he loathed the possibility of his love life being flaunted around, being asked how good Drake is in the bedroom and when the day would come for him to propose to Alex.

"Guv I understand its none of my business to interfere in your personal life but you should really consider what you're saying…I know when me and Shaz started dating two years ago…I pathetically sheltered away from lovingly kissing her in public and in front of Ray..felt like a right dim-witted nonce…all I know is relationships take time to get use to and eventually people you work with accept it…don't become all hypercritical of covering up your truthful logical feelings" Chris provided some helpful long-lasting suggestions, he himself hadn't been entirely comfortable on his own love life being discussed.

"So what you're supposedly saying is I should go out there and grasp Alex in my arms, proclaim my feelings" Gene simply tried to empathize, deciding to maintain quietness, he pouted suggestively whilst considering that exact thought.

"Well yeah…Guv times drastically change you've got to stop hiding your affections for Alex..she needs reassurance that you're not going to hide away your relationship with her as if its some thing laughable...i think you have to be lovey dovey " Chris smirked merrily, nudging his DCI in the upper bicep.

"Lovey Dovey..blimey you making think I'm some sort of Casanova or romantic god of love...I'll consider what i feel Christopher...Oh by the way what happened to Ray last night?…how did he get on with chatting up that brunette bird on the bar….bet he buggered up his chat lines disastrously" Gene sniggered deafeningly which consecutively aggravated Chris, he never reasonably preferred to see Gene laughing at Ray's miserable expense.

"Guv you might essentially be flabbergasted me telling you this…Ray pulled that brunette bird last night…because I definitely lost track of them….when one of the busty barmaids dragged me on the dance floor and demanded I danced to Cars by Gary Numan..should have seen me..I was king of the dance floor" Chris delighted in telling an unimpressed Gene whose eyes drifted elsewhere and quickly gave the impression of more or less becoming fascinated in studying Alex's reddened lips and beautiful mascara covered eyelids.

Alex had gloriously ignited a burning lust within his heart, his heart continuously outsmarted his general feelings, he just couldn't get enough of Alex, deep down this scared him frighteningly, the time of commitment and declaring your feelings, the night before after he affirmatively declared he loved her, doubts bubbled in his stomach, perhaps he'd uttered too much.

"More or less you're performing like king of the divs Christopher" Gene muttered humorously, finding some precious time in commenting on his well respected DC's awareness.

"Guv for crying out loud you two should go and get a room…" Chris considerately informed him, standing alongside him, the woman in question, the love of Gene's life entered.

"Well ...What have you two gossipers been discussing about?" Alex murmured happily, momentarily losing genuine concentration, her eyes drawn only on Gene's as he invited her to sit with him on the desk. She demonstrated the gifted inspirational meaning of love, she'd undoubtedly completely knackered him out breathlessly, as he tenderly made love to her, both of them ecstatically loved the danger of nearly being caught out in public places, Gene inevitably blamed his girlfriend for this, so brushing his regrets out the way, he persistently searched for something that would significantly encourage his closeness and fondness for Alex, as she caressed his broad shoulders with one hand.

"Remember what I said Guv" Chris knowingly stated upon leaving, hurrying back into CID, cheeks still looking as reddened as ever, Shaz giving him thumbs of approval as she appeared to have guessed what had taken the two detectives so long to talk about.

"Oh is this an male influential unspoken thing in which the girlfriend doesn't overhear about…Gene just you don't forget my psychology skills can detect anything you've rigorously mentioned behind my back" Alex cleverly reminded him that she didn't open-mindedly like to be informed of an important matter last.

"Bugger Bolls...when you say that sounded word…Psychology you make it seem remarkably sexy. Kind of gives me an pleasurable pain-free hard on….other thoughts I've had …just thinking tonight my house…I'll cook an exotic delicious romantic meal for you…around 8pm…or nevertheless I'll sweep you up in my big manly arms and escort you toward the Quattro and unveil round two of our playful erotic game that I mean having yer knickers down in record time and shagging you senseless…trust me Bolls its my miraculous masculine prowess that'll have you begging for release in unvbelievable time " Gene fondly tightened Alex within his protective arms, the incredible touch of her hand tracing throughout his blond rough hair guaranteed to add an stimulating desire of inadequately wanting to have her right that minute on his desk her legs parted and him entering her from behind, at that point Gene expertly turned Alex to face the open viewed windows as the other detectives concentrated on working.

"Mmm Gene we've really got to prevent ourselves..from thinking of shagging each other senseless when in fact anyone could rudely barge in unpredictably" She seductively implied encouraging him by clutching his left hand and guiding it underneath her see through blouse, so he cop a feel of her breast, she closed her eys tightly feeling his cool breath tickling down the back of her neck, she shivered endlessly.

"You trying to entice me Bolls in a sexy fantasy situation…you know what right now I could just fib to the troops and say we're importantly needed elsewhere on an inquiry and secretly drag you to the men's staff toilets and have my naughty way with you" Gene traced his tongue over the smoothness of Alex's chin line, delighting in the sounds of her distinguished lower key moan from beyond her throat.

"Me I'd never do such a thing Gene.. I'd only blush red-faced if you done something so mind-blowing and pinned me on this desk…" Alex flirtatiously whispered against his ear, blowing cool wind against his jaw.

"Can't…sorry Bolls…I promise you're in for the night of your life courtesy of the Gene Genie and that's what you shall enjoyably receive" Gene resonantly growled appreciatively, as they kissed passionately, love fulfilling their respective actions, Alex using both hands fervently to seduce him, gratefully attempting to captivate her boyfriend's concealed yearning.

" Christ on my god almighty bike…" Gene gasped surprisingly, softly reaching a hand round to cup the right hand side of her face "Am I right to presume… Bolly that you willingly want me getting carried away…always mischievous you are..never know what in that pretty little head of yours" Gene said, joyfully ridiculed Alex's present impatience as she disapprovingly backed away.

"Oh Stuff the dinner, Gene all I want tonight is you.. Nothing more… no interruptions…no Chris poking his head out the backstreet window of a earsplitting nightclub" Alex regrettably hadn't dared mentioned to Gene, the last sight she saw otherwise as they obviously disappeared up the dampened alleyway, clothes scattered everywhere.

**xxxx**

Ray's grin broadened beamingly as he marched up towards CID the very next morning late as normal but that never seemed to really bother him, his confidence brimming, joyfulness in his heart, his disheartened pride surely re-established, for the first time ever he treasured the knowing fact of attentively whisking a bubbly Cheryl away when Chris briefly turned his back, the two new friends shared plenty in common, Cheryl admitted she was an female Detective Inspector who had transferred from Burnley Police Station, stating she never valued grubby uncaring detectives and looked for a newer beginning, a newer surrounding.

Ray gratifyingly loved Cheryl's truthfulness, kindness and genuine company he discovered, she hadn't trusted a man in a relationship for more than 5 years and courageously took a leap of faith in inviting her out for drinks away from the prying eyes of his Fenchurch East colleagues, as they danced flawlessly, to one those bothersome Duran Duran cheesy ballad songs, distractingly he looked upwards, apprehension playing a part in his thoughts which were extinguished altogether as he observed her eyes illuminating under the disco dance floor lights changing his mind, the measurable opening of her generosity that twinkled her dark blue eyes, it astounded Ray immediately as he suspected he was falling dependently under her loving spell. Above everything he urgently wanted this night to last forever after he'd bigheartedly accompanied her home, both sharing a goodnight kiss on the lips.

**xxxx**

Gene splashed a freshness of water over his upper bare-chested torso standing naked in the shower in his bathroom, his head lowered in contemplation , whilst he embarked on considering what exactly did any woman in England and the whole of London find rewardingly adorable and attractive about him, had his legendary prowess played a significant part in charming the lacy knickers of a posh bird counting Alex as well or had it been his famous pouting lips that caused a lucky woman's legs tremble and quiver whenever his presence had been required effectively. He just didn't know and desired to uncover the truth, as he intended to meet Alex within the car park of the station after dark and after Chris and Shaz had totted enthusiastically to Luigi's.

One hopeful suggestion he capably understood, tonight the night was still so young, the music would blissfully unwind, comforting and lovemaking would end their night on a higher note, he felt as if he'd been daydreaming, having a magnificent, sexy girlfriend who treasured the ground he walked on for her, gleefully he numerously counted his lucky stars so many times, rubbing his eyes with his large thumb just so he could believe it, what did she manage to see in an old toss pot like him, only she could reveal in her own seductive sexy little way.

Alex's former fling Claude was now a distant memory, Gene wondered whether the lothario had emigrated away off abroad somewhere after a shortened aggressive run-in with the British police .

20 minutes later, now out of the shower and getting changed in front of the large framed bedroom mirror. Carefully readjusting his bow tie, annoyingly he gave up instaneously on tying it ,bearing in mind as he barely couldn't tie anything together accurately, so Gene decisively went for the sophisticated and stylish look, hair ruffled parted upwards in a gelled quiff, hopeful that Alex will caress those delicate womanly hands of hers throughout his blondish hair, have him feeling absorbed in response, quivering and shivering under her irresistible touches.

_I maybe no Prince Charming but I know how to woo the knickers of a posh bird...my legendary one liners never let me down in doing the trick... _Gene grinned proudly getting away with just one look at his reflection in the mirror, if anyone had been there to seen they'd be accusing him of being a right show-off. The doorbell rang, Gene's left eye notably twitched, Alex had arrived early, perhaps keen to impress him, he dashed downstairs as fast as he could and graciously answered the door, the feel of his cock heightened within his boxers, to say he hadn't seen such a magnificent sight would be the bizarre statement of the century, his jaw halted prevent another word from being uttered.

"Thought i'd surprise you by turning up on your front door step out of the blue much earlier than anticipated...Well aren't you going to invite me in Gene...I'm freezing out here in this stunning dress" Alex found this unseen facial expression of Gene's shyness quite adorable to glance at, he couldn't even avert his eyes away from the best part, the v necked shaped opening she displayed, the unadulterated long flowing dress astounded his eyes, Alex delighted in this, always knowing what type of dress to wear, one that would drive him utterly insane with desire and lust the moment he set his lingering eyes upon her.

"Erm..what oh yeah come in Bolly I can tell things are going to better...I'm glad i successfully persuaded you in the end into having out romantic meal ...Maybe we can slow dance together..later... " He tenuously snapped himself from looking down at her breasts furthermore, allowing her to skip past him on the front doorstep, as she looked ahead, acknowledging the already radiant candlelights lighting up the dining room, Gene lighty patted her bum, growling like an animal, as he stared at her impeccable bum, the amusing way she intentionally frustrated him by wiggled it before his eyes.

"Gene Hunt well i never...resorting to admiration...maybe we should perhaps skip dessert and you know try something a lot better later" Alex felt outrageously mischievous, she hardly could explain why tnhis was apparent, she felt thankful she changed her mind about going on a midnight drive in the Quattro, she felt that someone might have overheard if they'd have been having sex in the car. They bought out the ultimate best within each other and eagerly looked forward to a night they wouldn't be forgetting in a lifetime.

**End of chapter**

**Last chapter will be up very soon, keen to makee it more about Ray and provide an insight on his date with Cheryl.**


	9. Chapter 9

**Funny Detectives **

**Last one but there maybe an surprise extra chapter, this chapter displays some heartwarming, tender moments which i sure you'll enjoy reading, some laugh out loud moments as there's line at the end that i thoughtfully added, which made me laugh. **

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**Chapter 9. An evening to remember**

Gene could hardly believe his luck, cooking an flavorsome meal for a particular house guest something he had never done ever, he'd ever only displayed beginner's skills on cooking but always stayed hopeful for what the rest of the night would bring , _oh Alex you're for the time of life tonight once dessert is finished, _he hadn't been feeling this joyful and content since December 1981 after Ray bought him reserved tickets to see Manchester City playing Arsenal at Highbury and they'd won 2-0. Even without knowing Alex did some marvelous things to Gene's thundering heart, noteworthy his knees weakened every time his eyes had unavoidably been drawn to them tight trousers she sometimes chose to wear in and around CID, _too bloody distracting, she's as hotter than a Mexican heat wave._

"Ahem Gene…dinner" Alex kindly jogged Gene's memory, notifying he was beginning to lose attention noticeably , the sound of her laughter graciously warmed his heart affectionately and richly, as he began gathering his feelings up in a basket. Standing near the cooker as he carefully took out a steamed pan cautiously using oven gloves before pouring out Pasta on two prepared plates, lastly preparing the dessert; Jam Roly Poly.

"What…oh just had a mischievous thought of you in them denim tight trousers, enticing me into doing something somewhat smutty and naughty…my oh my Bolls…maybe we should skip the dessert and start discovering newer and thrilling things about one another " Gene charmingly revealed. feeling his inner uncovered naughtier side somehow suddenly emerging. Alex closed the gap between themselves, leaning frontward, feathering soft, light kisses across the backs of his broad shoulders, tickling a hand teasingly across his left wrist, she knew exactly what she wanted, she tantalizingly sought after him for afterward.

"Oh really…mmm" Alex said, as Gene lightly tugged on her hand spinning her round instantly to face him, the tables had turned, soon finding her arse hard-pressed up aligned with the kitchen sink, his lips playing mind games, smoothing under her chin before pulling away, both holding an uplifting gaze between one another, his cheeky behaviour evident to see.

"Now…Now Bolly that was a tease-tactic preview…the main feature will happen within 30 minutes…so we eating or not ..well Pasta can't be ignored…did you know Italian food is the recipe of love and an fortunate way to a woman's heart" Gene enjoyably complemented, the lingering sultry glare within her eyes obviously impressed him, three years of avoiding the obvious question and within his heart he'd always known the answer but shamefully hadn't declared this truthfully, time was like a ticking countdown and he knew it would be now or never, he simply couldn't let her go, mainly because she'd become the overwhelming voice in his head encouraging him to do better in life and he felt he had to reward her for that.

"Can I ask…Have you been spending secret time with Luigi behind my back ?" Alex murmured blissfully admiring his compassionate side he was revealing in her attendance " picking up handy romantic tips, charming the knickers of a bird…hmm I wonder did you ask him that question first" She found this rather touching and a bit eccentric, as she assumed Gene didn't need plenty of advice. She deliciously tasted the steamed pasta, wrapping it around her folk and placing a handful in her mouth, immediately giving her thumbs up as approval.

"That's bollocks, look I've got a ridiculously discreet cranium full of brawn and knowledge on countless ways to woo a bird constantly with continuous romantic quotations…hardly nothing to do with Luigi, all he managed was a general nudge in my elbow...turned around to me ..told me , I'd be an fool to let you go…You Bolly Knickers..are a right skeptical for sore eyes…" Gene grasped for her hand, entwining them together. Looking across onward at the mirror in the dining room combined with kitchen, he inadvertently caught sight of his cheek covered in tomato sauce, the look on his face priceless to see.

"Bloody Nora!…" Gene proclaimed in an huff, laboriously panting, as he wiped around his cheek using a cloth, _if she's laughing I know I'll have her feeling entirely breathless later, the glorious sound of her heart thudding , oh she'll be begging me to shag her over and over again, no wonder she resorts to fluttering them irresistible eyelashes at me, she can tease all she wants…She cannot get enough of me..she knows , bet she wanted us to get caught out the other night, always loving the danger, persuading me to enjoy which I actually did…_Oblivious to whatever Alex essentially had prearranged for their evening together, she smirked at the thought of handcuffing him an displeased Gene to his bed-head, her wandering hands working him fervently . Gene craftily tiptoed out of the kitchen, noticing she appeared to take effectual pleasure in the gorgeous delicious Pasta meal, her lips parted wordlessly, tongue flicking along her bottom lips. He wanted her, he knew that was crystal-clear and sensually aimed to please, seemingly romantic music proved to be the way to a woman's heart and spirit, he couldn't bugger this that's what he kept telling himself, searching throughout his numerous LPS, in the lounge area, he came across a Madness record which fell on the carpet, _no harm in playing this record, just hope it isn't House of Fun, me and Bolls doing that cheesy poofy dance that'll be sidesplitting to see. _

"Let's dance Gene" Alex said, as she came into sight, standing in the doorway left arm pressed against the door, playfully grinning, both hands reached out for his, he courteously accepted, reaching them up to his eager lips, tenderly kissing each fingertip one by one.

"What about the Jam Roly Poly its almost done?" Gene couldn't help feeling all lovingly as he continued, delighted by Alex's generous beaming smile.

"Jam Roly Poly can wait...all i want tonight is...you Gene" The way she uttered his name seductively, sent somersaults in his stomach.

"Erm the music ...I'm afraid I've smartly beaten you to it, how does Madness sound for ideal dance music" Gene blushed red-faced as he held the record in his left hand.

"What song is it?" Alex muttured, swaying towards him, his eyes unable to ignore her movements, feeling almost captivated by the moment.

"It Must Be Love" Gene coughed, as he answered, wishful he hadn't practical slapped himself into focus, a beautiful woman dancing before his eyes "What the fuck...Have you been drinking Bolly?" Gene snorted while laughing, he could smell the aroma's of wine on her breath.

"Well I may have had drank half a bottle of your finest champagne...well the whole bottle" She demonstrated, holding up her thumb and fourth finger, leaning over the armrest of the couch.

"Bloody hell it isn't even 9pm and you're already bloody pissed in record time..." Gene said upon turning to the record player in his front living room, briefly letting go of her hand as he placed the LP down and the first tune blared out.

"Oh I love this song..." Alex recognized the singing voice of Suggs, Madness' lead singer "I remember I went to see them in concert one year and they sung this song especially for old friends of mine" was all she could muster as he recaptured both hands and held her closely in his arms, slipping his hand around and down over the back of her waist just above her bottom. The intimacy, the closeness they shared overwhelmed their emotions as she stopped talking and enjoyed being thoroughly mesmerized by this unseen side of Gene she'd never saw before.

"Sssh Bolls...i wanted to tell you something." Gene silenced her with a finer placed over her lips, the beauty of her was absolutely astounding as he carefully looked into her eyes " Well its erm...being playing on my mind for the last twenty minutes...I wanna spend their rest of my life with you...and i know i haven't been the best boyfriend sometimes thats b alecause i feel i can't display my love publicly...Chris told me to prove how much you mean to me...I know in the nightclub last night we got carried away but that's because you were too damn sexy in how you tempted me to shag you in the men's bogs...I was more than happy in dallying with naughtiness because let's face were both as bad as each other when it comes down to sex" Gene warmly confessed, he looked down again on Alex as she met his gaze closely, tears consuming her, reaching his thumb down to wipe them away.

"Oh stop being such a cry baby Bolly" Gene expressively requested, not wanting to dampen their special evening, he couldn't stand her tears sometimes as he felt he'd be crying not long after her.

"Me i'm the cry baby..Ha I think that's the other way Mr Hunt if you get my drift" She cried tears of laughter as they reasonably became silent upon listening to the chorus line.

"It must be love, love, love  
Nothing more, nothing less  
Love is the best"

"Although i think House of Fun is a far better man's song...I quite like the lyrics to It Must Be Love...you seem swept by the lyrics Bolly...so i've just noticed" Gene smiled against her neck, sneaking a light kiss against her smooth skin.

"Oh Gene i prefer anything from the 1980's, You haven't got any Yazoo records have you?" Alex kindly asked, hoping he would find one of their records immediately from his living room cabinet.

"No I haven't unfortunately...Wonder how Raymondo's getting on with his date, apparently according to Chris as he told before i left CID this evening, Ray cleverly rescheduled the date to tonight, sounds quite smitten with this bird, he met last night" Gene pouted his lips keenly, hoping his friend had been having a great fascinating night to.

"Oh I'm sure he'll be perfectly fine, probably making her giggle with his comedy quotes...He should really be doing Comedy Roadshows soon enough" Alex said, imagining this to be the eventual case. She tugged onto his shirt, teasingly running her hands underneath.

**Xxxx**

Ray danced and sung his heart out, as he generously accompanied Cheryl to a West End musical.

"You like musicals Ray i never knew...you continue to amaze me Mr Carling" Cheryl giggled infectiously, admiring his effort to impress her.

"I've always liked the musicals never told anyone i worked with, that i enjoyed watching Bugsy Malone and Grease when they came out at the cinema years ago...Chris my best friend he'll only take the piss and wind me up" Ray confessed, keen to hurry inside so they wouldn't miss the start, he was thankful he had something in common with her; a love of musicals. It was strange to be sitting in an West End theatre but at least he never had the bother of being with the team this time around, enjoying Cheryl's company was all he seeked tonight.

"Oh Ray bless you...I don't blame you..What was your favouerite song from Grease?" She grabbed his hand for a short second.

"I'd say Grease Lightning..always the best..." Ray laughed quietly in replying.

"Come on show's starting" Cheryl conscientiously tugged on his wrist this time as they rushed down the stairs and in by the stage, having their tickets checked and sitting down within minutes.

"Blimey that was a mad dash..felt very much like riding at the Grand National on a rainy day" Ray breathlessly puffed out of breath, gathering his breath back.

"Thanks Ray" Cheryl smiled as she spoke.

"What for?" Ray asked as he shuffled on his chair whilst turning to face her.

"For changing our date...most of my friends are more interested in their boyfriends and I'm always the one left alone in a bar or a pub, getting chatted up by some cocky smug self-proclaimed young man...probably fancying his chances with me...What i like most about you Ray is that deep down you're honest, caring and thoughtful considering you don't prefer your colleagues finding out about your love of musicals" The magnificent look in her eyes completely captivated Ray as he listened to her speaking, he was almost lost within them. He had never been one for dating, always being the only person without a date for a Yearly Fenchurch Christmas do or a Valentine's do, now he couldn't be more happier, visibly he couldn't contain his happiness as he leaned over in the chair and kissed Cheryl on the cheek.

"What was that for...trying to be crafty are yer Ray?" Cheryl requested.

"Course Not I-I...erm" Ray embarassingly stuttered his words, which pissed him off secretly. Cheryl responded giving him an unexpected passionate kiss on the lips which left him utterly speechless, the cute look on his face adorable to see, the acknowledgement of his hair all messed up.

"Bloody Nora!" Ray called out forgetting where they were and eyes all fixed on him.

"Oh blimey...all eyes are us" Cheryl coughed, surprised she'd kissed him but also thankful she did. The show began and the lights dimmed down on stage, Ray glanced over towards her, smirking. He had been on quite a roll, the promise of becoming an popular comedian still very much on his mind.

**xxxx**

In Gene's flat, Gene imagined he could embrace Alex this way for an lifetime, eternity. The intimacy slowly giving away to lust and utter affection, he pulled away, caressing a hand through her soft brown hair, seeking an answer, she looked so radiant and beautiful, he felt so immensely content as he'd ever been in his life, lucky another word for describing his current thought.

"Bolly...Bedroom?" Gene willingly asked, the answer was there in her eyes, as she rested her head against his shoulders.

"Bedroom" Alex helplessly responded, Gene cautiously secured both hands under her thighs and freely lifted her upwards into his welcoming arms, she clung onto him for support, her hair tickling his chin repeatedlt. Gene moved onward beforehand, carrying her upstairs and then lastly reaching the bedroom, words not spoken as he laid her down on his bed. She secretly appreciated his football poster covered bedroom and his Manchester City merchandise, he'd hadn't been straight forward in revealing his massive football collection.

Alex sat up, on the edge of his bed, reaching up and undoing his shirt buttons, she saw something remarkably wonderful in his eyes ignited love, mutual need, a need to feel loved and wanted . In spite of all his previous niggling doubts, tonight had to be specifically unbelievable, the night before they'd loved everything about risking shagging each other in a toilet but now all that was forgotten about as he reached a hand towards her blouse, after his own dropped on the floor. He unbuttoned her blouse within a matter of seconds meeting her gaze it was as if he was falling insanely under her magic spell, the enchanting eyes luring him towards her.

"I'm impressed Gene..." she chuckled, smoothing the outline of the tip of his nose with her tongue.

"Bloody Hell Bolls don't spoil the moment" Gene grumbled annoyingly as his hand unclasped her bra, freeing her rounded breasts, he couldn't avert his eyes elsewhere, moving downward he flicked his tongue around her left nipple teasingly before taking it in his mouth, sucking enthusiastically, her head arched back, her breathing hitched up a notch delightedly, everything he done, previously was nothing compared to this. He took the right breast in his mouth, elatedly enjoying his stimulating actions upon continuing.

Alex soon found herself pushed backward on the bed, Gene hovered above her, grinning wittily to himself, as he discarded her of her knickers and shoes leaving her completely naked below him, she did the same to Gene, untying his belt and unfastening his trousers, before drawning them down along with boxers so she could even the score.

"My-My someone's clearly quite impatient" Gene lovingly spoke meeting Alexs gaze halfway.

His mouth crashing down to hers, as he kissed her passionately, his tongue teasing her upper lip beforehand, soon being granted acceptance and loving the feel as they duelled together, her hand positioned around Gene's head and bought Gene closer to her, laying on top, the eagerness and anticipation of skin on skin overwhelming her hugely. Alex's excitement built in her stomach as she caressed three fingers along his shaft, she loved his reaction, his panting filling her ears as she listened, to the rhythm of his heart drumming, she was starting to discover those amazing things she hadn't realized Gene generally loved and hadn't let on about to her. She flipped him over in a spur of the moment so he was now looking up and facing her with genuine surprise, she unleashed a barrel of laughs.

Fifteen minutes later an exhausted sweaty Gene bent her over in front of him and entered her from behind, his gripped her hips, instantaneously gasping at the feel of her being inside of her, muttering her name silently, rocking back and forth.

"Alex..." He breathlessly gasped, his cock moving in and out of continuously, it made his heart soar amongst planet earth, she pleaded endlessly for him not to stop, reaching a hand back to mussle through his hair, sweat glistened covering their bodies.

"Gene don't stop...love this...love you" and there she said it, the word he so much hoped to overhear, this surprisingly encouraged him as he increased his thrusts, speeding them up, deep down he loved and cherished the knickers off her, although sometimes she could be a right dozy mare and a right nuisance during an investigation when he presumed he had a suspect cornered and she'd boringly entertain him with her motivational Psychiatry skills.

Alex shuddered in front of him, as her knees weakingly began to give way, he curved a hand underneath, his finger and thumb simultaneously stroking her clit, blood gushed throughout his veins and his upper torso. Finally after one last release he emptied his fluids within her aching body, pulling away satisfyingly and they both sank down on the bed facing the ceiling, he gathered her up in his strong arms, soothing her as they slowly gathered their breaths back to normal.

"You pushed me more than ever...Bolls...but i'm glad you did...I know you mean the world to me...I know I'm going all sentimental and slushy here tonight but i bloody well mean every word i say ...Alex will you do me the honour of being my wife" Gene stroked a flyaway curl from her left eye as he gazed down upon her. Loving the feel of her hand running crossways across her bare chest.

"What!" Alex excitedly nearly gave him quite a huge fright, as he rolled his eyes in annoyance, Alex looked taken back not quite knowing what to make of his surprise marriage proposal.

"Bugger..I shouldn't have opened me big fat gob" Gene murmured, imperceptibly.

She took time in considering an answer before choosing "You've always been the man i've always wanted since the first i met you..no one can compare to you Gene...concerning the marriage proposal..." she paused again which clearly frustrated Gene. "I joyfully accept..." she overpowered him with kisses as they pulled the duvet over their naked bodies and soon drifted off into an comfortable relaxing sleep.

**xxxx**

Ray had brilliant news to share, hoping he wouldn't be upstaged by a strangely humming Gene as he marched and danced in his office.

"Bloody hell Chris what did you tell him yesterday?...please tell me you didn't suggest him and Alex spend an whole evening fo watching musicals on television did yer?" Ray sighed, looking into Gene's office.

"Gather around everyone me and Gene have some important news" Alex rallied the team together closely, motioning for Gene to get a move on as he scoffed his slice of toast.

"Bloody typical loves holding up everyone's work doesn't he" Poirot studied him as he ushered himself away just as Gene stepped out of his office.

"I heard that Poirot" Gene laughed happily.

"Me and Gene have just got in engaged...he proposed to me last night" Alex declared, wrapping her arms around him not giving him a chance to say anything.

"Woah that's ace news Ma'am congratulations...made up for the both of yer" Chris immediately congratulated them, hugging her briefly. Shaz patted Gene on the back and Ray bear hugged him, making him struggle to breath.

"Good grief its like being trapped within a rugby scrum..." Gene yelped, not bring able to move.

"Oh stop complaining Gene...you never stop do you... moan..moan" Alex mockingly revealed as he leant down and passionately snogged her.

"Guv...Ma'am get a room" Chris said , shaking his head as he sat back at his desk. The only reply he received was a fingered v-sign.

**End of chapter**

**I think i will do one more chapter, seeing as Ray had news but what was the news he eagerly wanted to share with the team? and how will the marriage plans go for Galex. **


	10. Chapter 10

**I've extended this chapter as its a very long one and wanted to describe more about Ray trying to cure his stage fright as his nerves slowly kick in. Its more about will things run smoothly for him. Thanks to scribblechacha for beta reading this latest chapter. **

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****Funny Detectives Chapter 10 Part 1**

After the team's reaction to the wonderful news of Gene and Alex's upcoming marriage, day to day events soon returned back to normality, unbeknown to the newly engaged couple , everyone had secretly gathered together and prearranged an congratulations on your forthcoming marriage, Chris optimistically wonder whether perhaps this might end up being an bad suggestion and that Gene would kick up an massive fuss about it being an annoying deal. What they hadn't detected was Ray's surprise shyness in the background, he felt this news had somehow sidelined in his own excellent news he wanted to share with everyone. He looked uncomfortable and unsure whether to announce his news, hoping it would be taken well. Terry and Poirot were busy playing cards alongside him as he took a drag of his cigarette, inhaling the toxic ashy smoke, which didn't do too pleasantly for his breathing.

"DI Drake's gonna make the Guv one happy man I reckon, so happy for them been a long time coming, glad they managed to get there in the end, overcome their nerves" Chris cheerfully mumbled as he gathered the team around in a huddle for a few minutes.

"I can't wait for the wedding, oh I love weddings . Obviously the Guv's not going to want to leave the Quattro at home is he, let's face it he loves it so much, he'll even invite his car in the church" Shaz said, looking back over at Ray she expressed a look of deep concern , Turning back she nudged Chris gently in the elbow, attempting to encourage Chris to generously take Ray to one side and ask him why he was suddenly feeling saddened. Chris followed Shaz's advice, grabbing his friend's wrist and walking them to the corner of the room Shaz certainly hoped it wasn't anything to do with the fact of Ray being doubtful over long-lasting relationships. He'd told her a few hours earlier that he thought he was beginning to fall in love with Cheryl.

"You alright Ray, I mean you haven't even drank your cup of coffee not like you, don't me asking but are things going downhill between you and Cheryl...Look I don't wanna upset you mate but I don't like seeing you feeling unhappy if its about your love life" Chris told him, trying his best to reassure his friend, noticing Ray seemed left out, looking awkwardly.

"Look I never wanted anything to spoil the Guv and Drake's news. You see the thing is...I'm leaving Chris, well for part time actually, last night me and Cheryl to see a play in the West End, some big shot television producer spotted me in the audience, even offered me an fantastic job to do a Comedy Roadshow back up in Manchester, I didn't want to say anything so shortly after the Guv and Drake's news , I knew I would have dampened the happy atmosphere" Ray softly spoke sighing sadly, he knew something like this had been his longtime ambition and making a tougher decision made it rather difficult. He glanced up at an overjoyed Gene and an ecstastic Alex both getting pissed on a bottle of Luigi's house rubbish that Gene had defiantly smuggled into his office.

"No Ray don't leave, you're a good, hardworking and dedicated Detective, you know the station wouldn't be the same without you. The Guv, me, Shaz and Alex will be bored without you. Can't you reconsider your answer" Chris said, feeling a little disappointed and downhearted by his best mate's great news.

"Bloody Hell Chris It's only gonna be for three months doesn't mean I'm being pessimistic and buggering off, leaving the Police force for good. Sometimes in life you know you've got to follow your childhood dreams and I know I am, I've known since the age of six years old that I've wanted to learn to tap dance, when I got older, I wanted sing my Raymondo shaped heart out and entertain audiences. Morecambe and Wise are like an huge inspiration for me." Ray happily announced, as he stood up and walked over to Gene's office.

He knocked on Gene's door and walked inside, the happy couple looked demonstratively loved up, Alex sat perched on the edge of Gene's table as he glanced down to cop a look at her curved bum, he gulped appreciatively before acknowledging Ray's presence.

"What can I do for yer Raymondo?" Gene asked courteously, trying hard not to feel distracted by Alex's mischievous smirk etched on the corner of her lips, her long magnificent legs stretched out and crossed.

"I've got some news of my own. I've been offered an stand-up spot on a Comedy Roadshow tour up North in Manchester, which finishes in Alderley Edge" Ray informed them both, their reactions took time to sink in.

"How long for Ray?..have you think this through " Alex asked him.

"I have, something I've constantly sought about doing and its three months which means I need to take some time off from working here in Fenchurch East" Ray replied, he looked nervous and concerned Gene wouldn't allow this to happen. Gene stared eagle-eyed at him, keeping his glance only on him as he swiveled around on his chair.

"I donn't know what to say, I feel flabbergasted, you know you should have gone to the Superintendent with this news. I mean he's not the best person to understand reasons for why detectives such as us choose to take holidays...sometimes he acts bloody outraged at us for announcing news" Gene muttered, reaching for Alex's hand and entiwing them together tenderly.

"Oh sod the complicated Super, Coming into chat to you Gene because I know you can comprehend news more favorably than the likes of some snotty, puffy experienced Superintendent" Ray revealed, he didn't desire to go, walking across the chaotic city and requesting a meeting with the Super, he knew in his heart telling his Detective Chief Inspector was always the right thing to do in the end. He coughed to clear his throat stepping close to Gene's desk as both men continued to exchange mixed stares at one another.

"You sure about this Raymondo, I mean for three months this means I'm gonna have to find some cocky arsed, pesky, temporary younger replacement to fill your desk, someone who will be answering your phone when a call comes in over a lead in an investigation, if this is what you want to do then I'm proud of yer daft joker, all I want you to promise me is knock the socks off everyone's feet with your witty jokes" Gene laughed amusingly as he nudged his thumb into Ray's elbow, Ray yelped a little in pain.

"Do you think maybe one weekend you and the team can come up and visit me see how I'm getting on" Ray asked, hoping they would at least, forget about work for one simple weekend within the next month.

"Why not, Gives me a chance to take Bolly for a romantic stroll through the parks maybe finding time for a picnic at the park bench" Gene considerately suggested, wistfully wanting to show Alex, all of Manchester.

"Is it me or has DI Drake turned yer into a right daft sentimental bastard" Ray joked, not quite believing this newer improved chat from Gene, who he originally thought wasn't a fan of romance, all he knew his friend was best was charming the knickers of an lucky Posh bird. Nontheless seeing how happy she'd made Gene, Ray felt extremely delighted for them and lastly added his own personal congratulations. Using only a pen knife Ray cunningly engraved an love shaped heart into Gene's desk. _The Manc Lion luvs his Bolly._

"Ray have you lost your marbles!, what if the likes of the Super or any other flying visitor to my office just so happens to notice this in clear view, I'll be stuttering over my words to explain the reason why its on my desk" Gene said, looking far from impressed by Ray's creative, styled writing on the desk, he embarrassingly tried to hide it.

"Oh Ray ignore him, he's acting like a proper stubborn grumpy man. I think it looks lovely don't you Gene" Alex giggled as she responded taking pleasure in seeing Gene's gruntled expression , she gently ran and traced her fingertips over the love shaped symbol.

"Oh Bolly why do you become so irresistibly beautiful in my eyes, them eyes of your. always enchanting and captivating me, if I look to further in and find myself getting lost in the depths of them it'll only wanna make me shag you right here, right now on my desk" Gene shyly confessed, leaving an stunned Ray to walk backwards out of the office.

**xxxx**

**2 months later- Manchester Palace Theatre - Oxford Street**

Ray hesistantly searched for his written lines on a notepad that included his jokes, Cheryl tightened his bow tie for him but suddenly became a little frustrated with him because of his constant nagging. His repeated silent muttered words as he knocked over a microphone off the table without looking. He panicked, his hands becoming jittery and shaky,, glancing down on the floor, he saw his notepad tucked underneath a white shirt.

"Hold still Ray, I'm trying to tie this for you, oh by the way Alex and Gene are waiting you behind the curtain, can't wait to see how you're doing " Angela revealed, she definitely loved Ray, she knew he could be a proper nuisance when he lost some belongings, but she admired him, lovingly, everytime they cuddled and kissed, she secretly grinned when he had a bit of food stuck, in his moustache.

"Do you didn't leave them all did yer, Knowing Gene and Alex, Mr Thomas the organizer of the comedy gig will probably catch them ripping each other's clothes off, if he says something I'll say I don't know them, well I don't want them getting in trouble do I" Ray answered thoughtfully, grateful for Cheryl's support and encouragement to not let his nerves overcloud him while he goes up on stage. Ray had previously battled his stage fright in his teenage years at school plays, he loathed being ridiucled for his scruffy appearance, usually wearing an oversized jumper and a baggy trousers.

"Knock, knock so where can I meet Manchester promising new comedian...the funniest man in Entertainment" A familiar northern voice shouted, to Ray it was instantly recogniizable, foot steps clattered on along the corridor approaching nearer, the disruptive individual seemed to have got the wrong dressing room. Ray glanced over his shoulder, the illuminated room lights shone brightly almost blinding him.

" That sounds like the Guv...I'm hardly famous yet, he must be looking for Lenny Henry or someone else, hope he's not pissed off his head already" Ray seemingly felt baffled, by the continous shouting outside.

"Will you please be quiet Sir or I will have to ask you and your fiancee to leave" One of the assistants requested as Ray soon discovered what the shouting might be about. His excitement kicked in.

"Raymondo, this place is like a bloody crystal maze, walking throughout. Just had some poof barking at me for disrupting a performance practice on the main stage, so I told him to piss off" Gene said, lips pouted in his trademark style as he smiled at Alex.

"Bloody Nora since when did you two suddenly become influenced By Hollywood glamour..Guv I mean you like a Movie star " Ray asked, staring in amazement at Gene's smart casual suit, hair slicked back and Alex wearing a white long overflowing dress.

"This is Bolly's doing, You can't argue with her because she has a good point even though its rather annoying. When she dresses like this for parties I get a bit erm..." Gene faltered, feeling a little self-concious to be discussing in front of Cheryl, Gene leant forward, whispering to Ray, who can't control his laughter responsively.

"What the fuck...the Manc Lion can't control his legendary prowess, wonder what it'll be like when you're both married..." Ray knowingly indicates, quickly retracking when he knows he's saying too much and unsurprisingly changes the subject "You know what It'll be little Gene Genie ruling CID before long, frightening Chris as they stamp on his fingers he disrespects them" Ray chuckles unselfishly, Alex approves too.

"Ray you're on in five minutes betta get ready then love" Cheryl tugs on his hand lovingly, leading him to stand behind the curtains on the stage.

Alex affectionately wrapped her arm around Gene's lower waist, nestling her head against his left shoulder, both enjoying their flirtatious glimpses, Gene's hand responds by squeezing her bottom.

"Ray's come a long way hasn't he? Look at him now at the brink of stardom, his star's soaring higher than before. Won't be long until he'll be headling at variety show on telly and performing Royalty..." Alex muttered happily, running a hand across Gene's shirt and unbuttoning one button.

"Think you're absolutely right Bolly...You when he said about little Gene Genies running riot around CID, that'll be an interesting scenario...Can't wait to become your husband..move your desk towards my office and when no one's looking, charm you into my office and kiss you passionately"

"I have ever told you have one hell of an smutty mind Mr Hunt" Alex contagiously giggled, her eyelashes graciously fluttering, they both stood poised and well-balanced even though, they shared the same suggestive plan in mind.

" Oh I sure do, " Gene smirked noticeably to himself.

"Fancy going to the lobby to get refreshments after Ray's performance or either us having a naughty dangerous situation in the alleyway outside" Gene seductively suggests, feeling his bulge rubbing against his trousers.

"Alright you're on" Alex accepts her Gene's ultimate challenge as they headed back to their seat to rejoin Chris and Shaz.

**End of chapter**


	11. Chapter 11

**Last chapter: Which does feature some memorable moments, ,mostly for Ray and Galex,as the wedding days arrives later on in the fanfic. It does get very smutty around the half way point but there's also some heartwarming moments. Thanks to emmylou1983 for beta reading this latest chapter.**

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**Funny Detectives Chapter 10 Part 2**

Ray's stage fright suddenly began to get the better of him - his thoughts drifting away elsewhere, the sweat across his eyebrows evident, his mouth felt dry, he licked his lips in order to wet them, whilst he clutched his hand tightly on his microphone. The stand up act before him was hardly receiving a response from the unimpressed audience, most had actually came to see Ray but were vastly growing bored of Roger Star; Bolton's predicted next upcoming comedian of the early 1980's._ Poor fella audience, aren't warming to him, hope my stand up performance goes according to plan._

Ray paced around, memorising every last few sentences, without looking, he clumsily stepped onto the stretched out cable wires, which nearly triggered the stage lights to darken, the audience seemingly appeared to feel more entertained by this, seeing what could happen next behind Roger Star as he danced across the stage, skipping past stage props.

"Buggering hell is he taking the ultimate piss?, think this bastard's been on the loopy magic juice or has slipped him an mickey finn, I reckon this because he's been prancing around the stage like an headless chicken for the last 30 minutes" Gene shouted, louder than anticipated the response he received unexpected as everyone's heads turned to observe him, most likely to find out who this loudmouth was. He furrowed his eyebrows, Gene had seen better variety than this, some much better, years ago, he shyly never admitted that he too once tried to become - Hyde's answer to Carry On actor Sid James. He'd always felt uncomfortable on telling Alex, as he suspected she'd somehow take great satisfaction after being told and that he would have to endure hours of infinte mocking.

"Hope Ray's alright, I mean he's never been that composed standing on stage before, Once tried to give him an nudge of encouragement, sadly he misjudged what I meant, thought I acted like a poof and he elbowed me in my arm, didn't half bloody hurt" Chris leant forward from his chair and told Alex, she looked surprised but other than that she knew Ray better than any woman back at Fenchurch East.

A disappointed Roger Star was predictably booed out of stage when he tried and failed at one last attempt to impress the audience, his head hunched lower walking off stage . "Oh come on, that's not very adequate, he's given his first break unfortunately you and everyone else just can't wait to boo him off stage." Alex delicately protested in support, shaking her head frustratingly. Her fiance caught a glimpse of her discontent, he secretly felt terrible for encouraging the boos, so to brighten up her pessimistic spirit, he nestled himself closely to her. He naughtily caught her off guard by playfully running his foot up and around her ankle. Alex had carefully been watching his every cheeky movements from the corner of her eye, , she smirked appreciatively.

"Bolly sometimes when you get wound up I think somehow you're on an obvious verge of turning an annoying female version of myself, that's quite a noteworthy thought" Gene always knew that she'd taken and copied so many similar words, he uttered and illustrated them in her own way.

"Mr Hunt If I never knew better, I'd suggest you're obviously attempting, somehow to seduce me." Alex imposingly fluttered her eyelashes at him, she had a plan of her own, one she wasn't keen on mentioning just yet, she wanted to make him wait, make him sweat, nervous and make him roar.

"Guv, Ma'am...Ray's coming on stage, he looks as nervous than a penguin in a heatwave " Chris reminded them, he heard them getting frisky but they hadn't purposely come here to risk another badly behaved situation not when the theatre was crowded to the rim.

"Chris, Ray won't like you comparing him to an Penguin" Shaz disagrreed with the comparisons.

"I guess, I'll teach you a thing or two about manners Bols...later when no dodgy prying bastard's looking at us" Gene promised practically grinning to himself as Alex glanced an knowing stare at him.

**xxxx**

Ray experienced everything he'd dreamt of, addressing the audeince who couldn't get enough of him. "Thanks everyone, makes me feel greatly proud to be back home, remember about five years ago I got my leg wedged in a door of a taxi once, thought it was Slyvester Stallone getting payback after I moaned about Rambo: First Blood, that'll teach me never to diss a movie star, unless perhaps Arnie's waiting outside the theatre with some gunge" Ray confessed, thankful that the audience seemed to enjoy his story, he looked taken back by the postive feedback.

"What Arnie's here, oh brilliant, want his autograph ever since me and Ray saw Conan the Barbarian at the cinema" Chris glanced around, excitement building within his body, mostly incapable of staying motionless in his armchair.

"Chris you daft pillock, its part of Ray's planned comedy script " Gene mumbled, the longer they waited, the more he wanted Alex, he'd reasonably been overjoyed to see Ray up on stage, performing every joke knocking the socks off everyone. Alex laughed, her popular giggle unmistakable to recognize, she loved seeing Gene becoming all worked up, it was one of the most adorable things she loved about him. Attentively she snuggled up, furthermore, suddenly within seconds she found herself caught and captured in Gene's affectionate, heartwarming gaze, that was the moment she knew she found an unique, macho man that she could love for an entire lifetime, someone who'd cherish the ground she walked on and protect her like an knight in shining armour, she wasn't willing to admit but she knew she'd found her ultimate Prince Charming except her Prince Charming, looked charismatic, completely handsome, determined, strong-minded and arrogant , also his transport came with an mighty thunderous red Quattro capable of battering and knocking down all baddies when they tried to leg it from the scene of a crime.

"Gene?" She smiled adoringly, her hand caressing his face, Chris and Shaz seemed to preoccupied with Ray's wittiness on stage.

"Hmm, what's up Bolls?" Gene asked. He pouted his lips pleasantly, a silent guttural noise formed inside his throat. He sat composed and began to considerately wonder why he'd got so lucky, how he managed to have such an irresistible effect on women, he hadn't a whiff of a clue what the answer was. Looking at her, she looked so beautiful especially every time she fluttered her eyelashes at him. They'd argued less, sometimes when they did, making up seemed more easier than he possibly imagined, she would come storming into his office, like the leader of a wild pack of animals, close the blinds, before he knew she would fling him up against the filing cabinet and practically lunge herself at him, kissing him passionately before he had a good chance to respond.

"Can we go for dinner after Ray's performance on stage?, wouldn't mind sampling the food in that restaurant in Manchester City Centre, you're raving about" She happily asked, friskily teasing him. Gene frowned, distinctly he looked like he'd seen far too much, patience running thinner. His legs crossed every five minutes, fingertips tapping fidgety on the armchair.

Ray's performance came to an uproarious end, after he mentioned his last witty joke, everyone suspected even Chris, Shaz and Alex that this joke would somehow be about the Guv's numerous facial reactions at every Manchester City game, he visited everytime they came to London for a match against either Arsenal or West Ham United. He'd throw a tantrum like a sissy girl, endless moans boring every detective back at Fenchurch East. Ray never expected the applause to be so rapturous, Cheryl peeped from behind the curtains, she was proud of her man for overcoming his stage fright and bringing the crowd to an exciting stand. As he exited the stage he breathed a sigh of relief.

"Thank god, I did a blinder out there, everyone loved me for my jokes, Oh Sod the aftershow party I want to spend the rest of the night with you Cheryl" Ray said, ignoring the planned surprise the team had in store, Cheryl protested that he shouldn't ignore his friends.

"I know you're right, been a long night, only want to get me head down and have a good night sleep, don't wanna be waking up tomorrow morning with an headache and the attention span as worse than of an office stapler" Ray clutched his head lightly,escorting Cheryl back to his temporary dressing room. "One last thing, I owe you a thank you kiss or perhaps even an passionate kiss" Ray growled, slapping Cherl's bum as he chased after her and closed the door behind him, the bubbly sounds of her vibrant giggles echoing throughout.

**xxxx**

Gene's badly behaved eyes caught an grateful gimpse of Alex's perfect cleavage, it was satisfyingly enough and an personal highlight because thie party they attended began to get on his nerves evidently . Guests packed the surrounding main dance room, the team felt disappointed that Ray had chosen not to come but eventually came round to understanding that he must be feeling terribly exhausted as he'd done fourteen nights on the trot.

"Right that's it, bugger the buffet, I've had just about enough of mini sausage rolls, do bad things to you stomach eating too much of them and this champagne that's already gotten me half pissed to my eyeballs If I drink one more glass I'll be singing Duran Duran's Hungry like a wolf actually higher than a wolf. Bolly let's head to that restaurant then, you 'comin'?" Gene curiously grabbed Alex's hand, pulling her to him, even despite him looking completely blotto and his swaggering movements looking as impressive than an ballroom dancer, she admired his courage and determination to treat a woman to a night they'd never forget

"Oh I hardly think so Gene, don't reckon they'll let you dine in that restaurant in the state you're currently in" Alex said leaning into him unaware that she was clearly giving Gene another free chance to stare down at her cleavage.

"Is it just me Bolly or are you trying to get me aroused in front of up to 75 people" Gene considered what to do next _Right that's it she pestered and teased me enough tonight, time to get some revenge I say. _Gene said nothing to rouse her possible suspicions. "You know your problems Bolly is that you have an suspicous mind and your eyes always catch me in a bloody trap" he quoted.

"That sounds like you're quoting Elvis' Suspicous Minds" Alex laughed upon realizing.

"Sorry I'm just bloody knackered, most of the time don't know what I uttering out of my gob" Gene swayed a little, Alex thought they'd best leave, she snuggled closely to him and lifted his arm over her shoulder so he ccould walk and balance right as they left.

**xxxx**

After driving round for what felt like hours, Alex somehow managed to parked the Quattro outside an luxurious city centre hotel, she became drawn to the illuminated lights that shone so brightly throughout the main street. Unfortunately having an romantic meal at a posh expensive restuarant soon became off the menu. Alex had booked them a room for two nights, under the names of Eugene Hunt and Alexandra Drake, she felt embarrassed to add the Eu in front of his real name. As the receptionist handed her the room key, Alex had an tough enough challenge to simply get Gene towards the double lift, her legs trembled because of his size.

"Christ ...How much did you have to drink Gene?...your breath stinks horribly" Alex mumbled. She escorted him to the lift and blissfully ignored the mirrors that displayed their reflection. She rested her free arm against the railings in the rounded lift. Alex glanced up at the ceiling and back down to the various highlighted panel buttons, she wasn't impressed by his behaviour. Minutes later as the lift began to get into difficulty, its overhead lights dimmering brightly and then darkly, she overheard Gene sniggering breathlessly, she began to wonder whether this was another one of his mischievous games.

"Sorry for tonight Bolly, I know I misbehaved appalingly, you must wanna poke me with a fiery stick for acting like a proper bastard eh" Gene's eyes flickered open widedly. "Where are we?" He freed himself from Alex but remained closely by her, successfully managing to preserve his standing sense of balance, coldness began to creep, inch around them as the harsh survival of staying warm proved itself to bemore challenging than they least expected.

"We are in an hotel lift, which I presume has broken down since all the its panel lights have gone out, looks like we're trapped in this lift, which is just wonderful" Alex began to shiver, judging by the look on her face at she wasn't at all satisifed being stuck in a lift, in her mind she knew it was going to be a long drawn-out night.

"Doesn't have to be" Gene carefully sat down comfortably on the carpet covered floor, dragging her down on top of him, their eyes meeting warmly and lovingly. They laughed together, her laughter full of richness and delight. He caressed a hand over her face, he gazed into her eyes and ascended upwards to claim her lips with his, it was a slow sensual kiss that made up for their bad evening, delight overwhelming them.

"Why, what are you suggesting?" Alex pulled away as she questioned his enthusiasm and what his intentions entitled, she wriggled herself off him and leant backawards against the wall.

"Shagging you senseless in a lift, yer know haven't tried that yet, don't know if you'd fancy it. Look I'm not trying to prove something to you Bolls if that's what you keep questioning. Even though you're a tight arsed posh bird who's given me about 100 headaches within six months because of your constant nagging , I can't help but love you Alex and I never will stop loving you" His words seemed genuine and sincere she glanced down at him, seeing the real flames of passion burning within the depths of his gorgeous eyes. Alex closed the gap between them once more, her hand easily placed on his cheek, she thought about what she wanted to say but never gave a proper answer. Alex kissed Gene this time with such efficient passion, feathering her kisses everywhere she could find, she unbuttoned his shirt, before kissing and teasing her tongue along his now exposed broad shoulders. She delighted in the response she heard from him, his heartbeat increased rapidly, sometimes he never quite knew how she made him feel this lusty, passionate-driven and treasured.

Her impatient hands practically ripped open his shirt, every tiny shirt button scattering over the floor, Alex and Gene never noticed, both were too drunk on each other, glancing into each other's eyes, Gene sat up and lifted her dress over her head, quicker than she did with his shirt. As every piece of exposed skin became unveiled one by one, Gene keenly lifted himself up with his elbows, his lips leaving no part of skin untouched, he was single-mindedly driven on by lust, in his mind despite claiming her had nothing to prove to her, he discovered he needed to, to reassure he would always cherish everything so magnificently beautiful about her, especially those perfect legs that would wrap around his waist and that drove him wild everytime they had sex. He flung her dress on the floor, his hands instantly started to unfasten her red silk lacy bra, the touch of his lips surrounding her chin and cheekbone made her gasp breathlessly. She found herself for the second time lying on top of Gene, their noses approximately touching. He scanned her eyes like a detector and found the mutual need she desired, he undoubtedly could read even without her expressing it.

She wiggled about within his arms almost naked, still wearing her knickers and shoes, freeing herself away from him, she stood up beginning to taunt him, doing her own striptease, as she somewhat persuaded him to allow her to undress away from him.

"No peeping Gene, eyes closed remember" Alex had the best delight, gaining the upper advantage over him, enjoying his obvious frustrated looks he dared to express, It was all part of an bigger plan of seduction, wanting sex in a broken down hotel lift and somehow she knew she'd accomplished this in an instant as Gene looked like he would bend her over so she would be on her knees and he would fuck her from behind, the longer she made him wait.

"Do you have to act like an self-satisfied tease Bolls, you make yourself sound as if you're an dominatrix" Gene considered as he asked the question.

"Oh I aim to please" She flashed a grin, noticing his eyes taking a qucik peek. _He's so gorgeous, his eyes watch over me protectively, I just wanna shag him every chance I get, I know he's thinking the exact same thing_

"Or to inquisitively act out your smutty litte thoughts seeing as you're pissed too, don't deny it" Gene answered.

Alex turned to face the mirror and wriggled out of her red lacy knickers, lastly removing her expensive bronzed shoes that made her like Cleopatra. "Gene open your eyes" she huskily implied, giggling lightly as his eyes shot open within a flash. He compassionately stared in amazement, pulling a face, lips curving upwards as he soon appreciated her elegant beauty and her hourglass figure. His eyes deliberately glancing downwards to stop between her legs, he sighed, muttering unrecognized profantites under his breath.

"Gene what's wrong" She looked deeply concerned , wondering perhaps whether she'd gone too far, she massaged her hands over both of his shoulders, demonstratively kissing his forehead.

"Nothing, just you naked, might give me an heart attack, you never know what could happen" Gene shyly confessed, hiding his laughter for once, he kneeled on his knees and ran his hands around her thighs, curious to discover another sexy side to his fiancee that he'd never seen previously.

"I could get dressed, any minute I wish they'd open these bloody lift doors" Alex shouted in frustration, Gene looked on, hiding his amusement, had her little stroppy attitude.

"Don't be daft you dozy mare, I'm kidding, now come here Sexy Knickers and straddle my lap" Alex positioned herself over him, one leg resting on his right hand side and the leg on the left hand side, she leant forward, her tongue peaking out teasingly, smoothing along his bottom lip before he eventually granted access, their tongues possessively dancing against one another's. She soon became aware that this was one of the best kisses she'd ever shared with any man, kissing Gene always took and ripped the breath out of her. She disheveled his blond hair with her hand, as he kissed back passionately, flipping her over so now she rested against the cold concrete wall, nibbling and sucking on her breasts.

Alex pressed a finger against his lips, preventing him from doing anything else. "Aah Aah...lets remind ourselves I'm naked and you're half naked and might I say you look as handsome as ever even though you're bloody pissed" She grinned, looking as he pulled down his trousers and boxers all in one go, finally leaving him naked. Two months after they'd had sex, in a nightclub toilet, it never once left her mind to find out what made Gene tick, what sexy little number eventually made his heartbeat jump up a notch.

"Make love to me Gene" Alex lovingly pleaded, she dropped the fun mind games, she needed to feel him in her, wanted to bought to the edge of oblivion, she needed to feel him pounding into her, she wanted so much more things she couldn't fully describe. Gene searched her eyes once last time before hovering above her, she secured her legs highly around his naked waist and before she knew it he entered her without warning. It was unbeliavably sexy the way he held her stare as he thrusted into her, again and again, gasping and quivering "love you Alex, my god damn sexy posh bird" even when they made love he had the ability to make her laugh, whatever he said, did sound rather daft but she knew he meant everything he articulated, her hands reached upwards and throughout his hair, she ruffled his blond hair.

Gene soon increased his thrusts rapidly, burying his cock within her, his hips speeding up, she rhythmically kept up in time, her legs thrown over his shoulders, she reached a hand around, digging her nails into his naked bum. Quickly Alex was bought to an full-blown orgasm ; never-ending midnight stars circulating around her and a white light overtaking them as she was pushed over the edge , she enjoyed the feel of his lips kissing her neck, the feel of endless sweat trickling down his bare back added to this erotic situation. Their tongues met for a second time and another passionate filled kiss which made Alex's head completely spin.

Background noises soon echoed throughout the confined walls but Alex and Gene weren't listening. "Hello anyone up there, if there is, the lift will be fixed in three hours, we'll get you out"

Without words exchanged, Alex turned around bent on her knees, positioning them wide apart, she turned to look at the mirror facing her, it felt so implausibly erotic to see the reflection of her bent over and an bare-chested Gene towering behind her. He entered her from behind, this time the pace intensified, he held her hips graspingly, her legs trembled as he continually fucked her from behind, "ahhh Alex..." he gasped, he'd never felt anything like this ever before, he relished it, getting an eyeful of her peachy bum.

"Geneeeee" Alex couldn't hold on, he pushed furthermore into blissful paradise and soon joined her, as he felt her walls clamping around him, pushing in and out of her, he held his breath and pushed for one final release and did so before he collapsed on the floor.

"Bloody Hell if we're gonna be doing this all the time when we're married, we may as well take the same sick days off work" Gene gathered Alex in his arms as they both regained their shallow breathing back to normal.

"Sex in a lift, I won't tell anyone, what we've done, you know if I did it'll get us in trouble" Alex promised, Gene wondered whether she could keep to this promise.

"I don't sodding care, I'm with the woman I love, I'd shag you in the Quattro if I had a chance" Gene kissed her forehead, soothing her.

"Really" Alex looked surprised as her snapped upwards to look at him, she knew it would be risky and extreme, especially if Gene chose to, unexpectedly park the car from out of view.

"We might as well get our clothes back, you never know, some unfortunate lift operator might get quite a shock if he gets an hint of what we've naughtily been up to" Gene made a swift move to get dressed, Alex followed his order as well.

"Looks like we'll be stuck in here for some hours Gene" Alex reasonably questioned, sitting naked against the inside of the lift door.

"I'd said you'll be up for Round two then" Gene abandoned his clothes and dived on top of her, kissing her continuously.

**xxxx**

**Gene and Alex's wedding Day - Four Months later, January 1983**

After an eventful and a frantic Christmas and New Year, Gene had booked the registry office for January 3rd. Gene sat thoughtfully on the limestoned steps of the registry office, dressed in a blue suit, that Alex had bought him, noticeably he heard near by whistles, he suspected it was some pesky troublesome kids but surprisingly as he glanced around, it was two younger women appreciating his good looks. _You ask Ray to be your best man and this is the thanks you get when you get married at an registry office in town._ Ray hadn't arrived, Gene suspected Cheryl maybe making Ray's arrival more later.

As a Ford Fiesta car arrived, Gene's head snapped to the left, Alex climbed out, he courteously nodded in his head in approval, appreciating her chose of dress graciously. She joined him on the steps, "so where's Ray"

"I don't bloody know, I kindly asked him and he hasn't bothered to show up, bloody typical of Raymondo" Gene complained, feeling as if he'd thwarted their wedding day.

"Gene" Alex noticed an approaching crowd of people, nearing closer to them, she patted him on the back so she could get his attention. they both looked and saw Shaz, Ray, Chris and Luigi carrying congratulation balloons.

"Signor Gene I simply couldn't miss your big day, I wanted to see my favourite two customers getting married. Bellissimo Signora Alex" Luigi shed tears of joyfulness , his face was picture to treasure, he turned to face an bewildered Gene, who frowned at his Italian friend's eagerness and excitement "Brilliante Signor Gene, desiderio e affascinante" None of the team could speak or understand fluent Italian but they guessed Luigi only wanted to wish the engaged couple every amount of happiness he had to offer.

"Sorry I'm late Gene, bloody Chris and his car wouldn't start up, so we arrived in Cheryl's car, she was always willing to help" Ray clutched her hand publicly in front of everyone.

"Guess it'll be you and Cheryl getting married next eh Raymondo, hope you look fetching on your wedding day just like the Guv's doing today" Chris pointed out, no one offered to back up as everyone decided to head inside. Luigi hurried Viv and Shaz inside, his feet clattering along the corridor.

As the confetti was thrown upwards into the air, the newlyweds jubliantly emerged, Gene pulled her towards him "Happy New Year Mrs Hunt" he muttered before kissing her softly on the lips.

"Guv and Drake married, do you think it was your ambition to become an comedian that bought them together Ray" Chris pondered the question, never quite knowing what to believe.

"Maybe, think it was some persuasion and nudge fo encouragement from me that made them realize how much they loved each other" Ray answered, clutching his hand around Cheryl's waist. Luigi took out his personal camera and asked everyone stand next to the married couple.

"Say Grazie" Luigi waved his hand, motioning for a fidgety Chris to stand by Viv.

"Grazie!" the invited guests shouted happily.

"Here's to our happy future Gene" Alex toasted in the steps, Gene reclaimed her lips once again before answering her question. "Aye just as long as we don't yer know, you don't pout your lips seductively and flash yer posh knickers at me endlessly and have me in the men's toilets, might give me a right 'orn' on when I least expect it" Gene chuckled as he lead his wife towards the Quattro, he kindly lifted her up into the embrace of his arms and carried towards the car. "Bollocks" he proclaimed, he couldn't find the keys, he searched everywhere along the pavement, he thought Ray might have nicked them as a joke.

"Are these what you're looking for" Alex giggled, Gene reached hand out to grab them but Alex stopped him "Not until I get another kiss from you"

"Bolly this is selfish, Oh alright" He devoured her with his lips, hoping she'd be persuaded, luckily she was and handed him the keys, he postioned her in the passenger seat and rushed round to the other side of the car as he climed into driver's seat, both doors eventually closed, "Right then, Lets us both Fire up the Quattro" Gene sneakily grinned before starting up its engine and smiling happily as it roared into action, leaving the naer by Car Park and speeding down the main busy London road.

**End of chapter**

**This was the last chapter, I achieved the amount of chapters I wanted to do for this fanfic. All reviews are welcome.**


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